Women Who Thrive, Change The World!

Will I Be Pretty?…or Will I Be Pretty Amazing?

March 5, 2011

Today, like every other day,
we wake up empty
and frightened.
Don’t open the door to the study and begin reading.
Take down a musical instrument.

Let the beauty we love be what we do.

There are hundreds of ways to kneel and
kiss the ground.

~ Rumi

I start with this Rumi poem for several reasons.  First it reminds me of what to remember as I wake up each morning with new possibility arising within a very big shift in my life.   It also speaks to me of the beauty that resides within and without each of us, and the myriad of ways that we can express this within our own uniqueness.

As women we have often listened to others dictates about what is right or wrong with us – especially our appearance –  and followed the voices of others whims and desires.   If you are like me, you have also wanted to fit in within the “appearance” that you were blessed to have been born with…but may have been continuously displeased with – attempting to change somehow to fit in with what “beauty” or “acceptable” appearance is in your particular culture.

This not only speaks to external appearance, but the “beauty” that we share inside of us offered as gifts of full expression.  This beauty that we seek to understand our entire lives may have been held back from full expression by fear of being misunderstood, not being accepted in the constraints of cultural bias, or perhaps even punished in some form.

In my global travels I have found this to be true universally.  What is it that has us judge our appearance, inside and out,  set apart from recognition of our heart and souls dream for who we are to become this lifetime?

This past week I was blessed to make contact with a woman at the gym after my swim.  She approached me, and what resulted was a short but very profound sharing between two older women that are committed to bringing the fullness of who they are out into the world.

Martha is an artist -a full time one at that.  The glow that radiated from her as she talked about her art gave me encouragement and inspiration to bring my own without the hesitation that has self sabotaged me in the past.

Yet, I learned that it was not until she was in college that she dove into the potential of the art within her.  Her mother did not want her to be an artist when she was growing up.  It was OK for her sister to be one, but mom wanted Martha to be an dancer.  With the freedom that comes from leaving home, Martha started to explore her own beauty within the world of visual art.  She now gives herself permission to bring this to the world as her gift.

This week I also bought a new bathing suit as the old one had such thin material from frequent use that it was bordering on embarrassingly revealing.  When I got it home I tried it on for the first time and realized that it was a tad too small – but not much.

As I gazed at the reflection in the mirror and turned and twisted to see all angles of my aging voluptuous (I love that word!) body I decided to see the beauty of having a body – a body that can swim, lift weights, hike, walk, ride bikes, make love, sit in meditation, run on the beach, play, laugh and breathe.  A body and ageless “beauty” that can be expressed until the last breath is taken….full and complete acceptance of what is now.

Is it time for you to explore that inner and outer beauty……  to simply be the pretty amazing woman that you are? !  There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the fullness of our expressions….

Here is a powerful video by Katie Makkai filmed at the 2002 National Poetry Slam.  She brings a lot of emotion and wisdom to the question – Will I Be Pretty?  Thank you to Karri Ingerson for this video!!

OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:

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www.DivineWealthJournal.com – Conversations between The Brit and The American

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SALSA DANCING AT 75? – YOU BETCHA!!

February 26, 2011

Sarah "Paddy" Jones

There is a extremely contracted template for aging in our Western culture…and I, for one,  am here to expand and redefine it – or possibly not to define it at all, but to say let us live our days/our years in a celebratory way! After all, if we weren’t aging, we would be dead!

 

When I come across examples of women who are living their passion well into their later years, I pay attention. These women are inspirations for us.  They awaken possibility within our hearts, minds and bodies, and remind us that each moment of this precious life is here for exploring and living with all the passion we can possibly express and create.  These possibilities are actually unlimited.

There is a lot of “press” these days about “letting go” of the constructs and habitual patterns that have kept us locked into an oftentimes “deadly” repetitive replay of a safe way of living,  while resisting the changes that are mounting around us and the whispers of our heart and soul that beckon us to “please come out and play!”  Sometimes this work seems daunting and we struggle with the back and forth between an assumed “safety” (most often conjured up by our rational minds) –  and heart and soul freedom.  In fact this is my passage and that of many others right now.

What if it was easier?  What if we just merely accepted that we hold within us the Divine spark already and that we were meant to be full expressions of our deepest creative, sensual,  and soulful natures.  In that case all we would need to do is say YES!  This is a YES! with no rational mind limitations.   This is a YES! that says I am deeply interconnected and an important part of the whole.  This is a YES! that says NOW is my time….and the next moment, and the next, and the next.   The path may be strewn with unusual and sometimes challenging experiences…but they all can be seen and accepted as an invitation to live and breathe with the fullest expression that we are capable of in the moment.

Growing up I loved to watch the passion and art of dancing, and still love it…as well as dancing myself whenever I can.  A couple of years ago now I took Cuban Salsa lessons for a year and even though I found myself going the wrong direction in the rueda (circle) at times under the Spanish verbal and hand sign direction of the teacher – my body, heart and soul sang with pleasure in every step and shake of my body.

When this video came to me I knew that it must be shared with you.  Here is Sarah “Paddy” Jones, a 75 year old British lady who is still living her passion!  Wonder if you will shed tears as I did witnessing her come to radical aliveness on stage??!  Is this how alive you would like to be at this age – any age?? I know that I would!!!!  If not NOW, when???

The video below is misnamed on top, so please disregard the title of Ginger Rogers who died when she was 83.  Sarah “Paddy” Jones is British and living in Spain. She took up dancing 5 years ago after the death of her husband. She has seven grandchildren.

This second video is less performance oriented and more into the heart and soul of “Paddy”!

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WOMAN TO WOMAN – SISTER TO SISTAH

February 21, 2011

Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living In better conditions. ~Hafiz

This post is important.  Important because women are being called to step up into their full expressions as the awakening on our planet spirals out globally, and as we build a new world with very different foundations.   We as women have an important purpose in all of this – to foster collaboration from the heart and soul; to speak out on behalf of the planet, our children, communities, and each other; and to express every bit of the creative genius that we are holding onto inside letting go of the fear that no one will recognize it for what it is – wisdom much needed right now!

Given all of this we cannot proceed, or pass GO as the game of monopoly states, until we heal the relationships with the women in our lives.  I believe that if we do not have closure or understanding with those that we have had challenges or break down of relationship  with, then we are bringing our wounds to the table, and not releasing those that have been close to us, and ourselves, into fullest expression.

As women we bond easily, fiercely, deeply, and often tenderly.  Relationships with other women are at the core of our thriving and full acceptance of ourselves.  Without healthy relationships with women we fall apart within and without.  Our culture, community, and world suffers…and so do we.

This week, as many of you know, there was a repairing of a relationship that took place

Iyanla Vanzant

between two very powerful women – Oprah Winfrey and Iyanla Vanzant. Feminine Power hosted that very same day a conversation with Iyanla on “Woman to Woman: How to Heal Our Relationship Breakdowns with Each Other”.

I bring you the link here to listen to the conversation as I feel that it is vitally important that we do this work with each other first!

Late in 2010 I lost a friend that was very dear to me.  She simply stopped communicating with me after 2 years of a meaningful friendship and many adventures.   At first I attempted to create story – in other words think of the ways in which I might had offended her, or figure out why she did not want to relate any longer.   I left phone messages, wrote e-mails and left a letter at her doorstep at Christmas time…but no response.

Then I realized that she was not going to respond, and that it was time to do my own internal healing around the loss, move out of any story, recognize that there was no longer a resonance which kept the relationship alive and growing, forgive myself and her, and let go.   There was of course sadness around the loss of the relationship…but what really hurt was that we could not come together, face our fears, and deeply listen to each other with an open heart and mind – either for closure, or for expansion of relationship with each other or with ourselves.

This is what Iyanla speaks to in the conversation on this link.  Take the time to listen in and reflect on whether there are any relationships with women in your life right now that require letting go of the fear that you carry and with courage (action taken from the heart) telling your truth.

Here is the link:  http://instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=17780457

“Woman to Woman: How to Heal Our Relationship Breakdowns with Each Other” with honored guest, Iyanla Vanzant

Welcome to the recording of our special Women on The Edge of Evolution event with Iyanla Vanzant, who shares the challenges, lessons and blessing of healing the relationship breakdowns with our sisters. Iyanla Vanzant is the author of five New York Times bestsellers. Her most recent book, Peace from Broken Pieces: How to Get Through What You’re Going Through is a masterpiece of hard earned wisdom and a tribute to the resilience of the human heart.

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FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF DAY: A Prelude to Valentines Day

February 13, 2011

Sister, remember this:
:: you are completely and utterly loved.:: the intelligence that grows the leaves on the trees, is also moving you. Surrender.:: your body is a miracle. It breathes, it pumps, it digests and it moves. It is God in action. Just stop. Stop right now, being so violent towards it.:: the body is earth… awakeningwomen.com

Christine Arylo has declared 2/13 as International Falling In Love With Yourself Day.  What could be more appropriate than a focus on self love for women and girls the day before Valentines Day.

As each of us as women step up to the plate in our lives and bring courage, strength, wisdom, collaboration, listening, and our own uniquely wild creative expression and stories….. we become free.  In this stepping up however, we must embrace our wholeness, and love every single itty bitty part of ourselves – even those parts that we would rather hide under the rug or in the bushes some place! Not always easy…

So girlfriends come out and play today – and everyday that you possibly can!  Here is a video that reminds us why we are being called to action on the global, national, and community fronts of our lives.  It is when we say YES! to our unique dance in life, and fall in love with ourselves, that we are able to inspire other women to do the same while living our lives FREE.

This is ALWAYS an inside job.  When done with dedication and commitment you light up the world!  Join the Tribe.

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Make Love To Life!

February 7, 2011

“In a world where everything is sexualized instead of humanized, I worry that we’ve lost touch with the sweet eroticism in life. To me, being human, life itself is erotic. It’s a being alive to the magical, pulsating, ecstatic body and universe we live and experience through. It’s a way of being in the world in a sensory and tactile way, leading and relating to others with your energy awareness and senses.

…in its highest sense, our sexuality is a gateway to spirit, to the place where humanity meets divinity, and as such it is sacred. It offers us a readily available opportunity to experience the ecstatic union we all long for.  If… that is… we dare surrender so deeply to the erotic dance, with ourselves, with each other.”

Lone Morch www.divinelyfurious.com

Starting off with this quote sets the stage for the focus of this post, as the Divine Feminine is coming full force into our awareness across the globe.  There is a reason for that.  Our planet needs us to re-balance – and quickly!  Yet, what exactly is the Divine Feminine or the Feminine Principle to you?

For women and men this is where humanity meets Divinity – the ecstatic union of the
interconnection that plays out constantly – seen and unseen, felt and not felt.  It is about collaboration, connection, listening, and flow.  There is an immense intelligence in life that is begging us to pay attention.  It can be seen and felt all around us if we will only pay attention.  A friend of mine in the UK found this in nature on one of his daily walks.  This spiral serpent encased in ice can also be seen as this erotic dance that is being played out in a very elemental way.

Bringing the Shakti energy back to the drawing table of life in our present time means that each of us as women (and men) are being invited to step up to the plate of our lives, heal whatever needs healing within ourselves, and be sensuously present to life as an “erotic sacred dance”.

Someone who invited this dance to play out in her life was Georgia O’Keefe, and it wasn’t always an easy path for her to take.  Her statement, “I have been absolutely terrified my entire life, and I have never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do”, challenges us to live our lives from the inner urgings, that if not heeded leave us living half of a life instead of the whole one we were meant to play out.

As women, when we walk into a room, into a new situation, or launch an innovative creation we can embody this energy by being fully in our belly – our pelvis – and of course do this with grounded passionate presence.  This sensory way of being in the deepest feminine parts of ourselves creates an opportunity to confidently stride into the moments of our lives because we courageously trust that we will always have the wholeness of who we are – and no one can take that away from us.

When we understand that we no longer need to puff up our chests and be “strong” in a masculine energy sort of way, make prose more important than poetic, or come from logic and rational left brained thinking to be taken seriously….. leaving our deepest feminine parts behind on the shelf in a dark room….then we will be heard, seen, and acknowledged for the gifts that we bring – and the Earth that gives us life will breathe a huge sigh of relief!

Shiva/Shakti

It is the Divine erotic dance between masculine and feminine energy inside and outside each of us (we are literally surrounded by it!) that keeps life juicy, creative, and leads to a gateway of embodied sensual living from body, mind, heart and soul.

Discover the pathways of erotic living this week that you are already embodying, or can surrender into more, and ignite in your body, heart and soul.  Make love to life….your life!

Here is a link for a video by Rachel Jayne Groover from The Yin Project -Feminine Spirituality and Leadership Program : http://femininespiritualityandleadership.com/FSL/Tr93hF17Vid2/

on How to Increase your Personal Presence, Financial Flow, and Make a Greater Impact on those around you with the Power of your “Feminine.”. This is #2 in a series of 4 – Great!

OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:  www.BreathingSpaces.net

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Falling In Love With The Journey – Being Utterly Alive!

January 30, 2011

True Identity of a Carousel - Photo by Dewitt Jones

Falling in love with the journey is what makes life juicy!  Otherwise, we put off living, as if there is something better around the bend, tomorrow, next week, next year, or in the next moment.  Before we know it – our lives this time around are finished.

Time seems to be flying by these days.  It is not just me that is aware of it.  There are many of us that are feeling our way into a new reality.  Perhaps a different location to live,  the gathering of a tribe (community) to play and create with that aligns with our inner desires, dreams and values;  coming into the expressions that we have kept in that silent place inside of ourselves because of fear or self doubt; or as Lone Morch states below in a quote from The Feminine Fad: about power, truth & the new feminine, perhaps finally seeing ourselves as sacred, co-creators of the world.

“On the societal, cultural level, maybe that means we move from seeing ourselves as mere consumers, sex objects and advertising targets to seeing ourselves as sacred, co-creators of the world, because, in our hearts, we know that for every action (thought, feeling…) there is a reaction. We don’t live in a vacuum, everything affects the collective, and each person’s choices matter. My sense is that when we can tell ourselves the truth of who we are, we can also love ourselves, When we love ourselves, we begin to trust ourselves, and naturally a lot of hole-filling choices, masks and needs might just fall away. We might see more clearly. We might feel closer to our self-authority. We might actually begin to feel utterly alive and begin to breathe with Mother Earth. A sweet thought to behold.” www.divinelyfurious.com

We all know that the journey can hold deep holes we at times fall into, mountain tops where we can see clearly, and the everyday one foot in front of the other where you never know what is going to show up next.   The potential for being utterly alive is constantly present in all of these places.

Will we take a breath and step into the aliveness on the unknown path,  or will be choose the “safe” and deeply rutted route?  There is a vivid dream that I had several years ago now that pointed me in the right direction and that I draw upon even now when I forget – which is often.

In this dream I am attempting to get to a destination of “higher learning” and many are on the path in front and in back of me.  I reach the cliff ledge and see in the distance the “place” where I wish to get to.  My attention is totally focused on “how to get there” thus I am assessing and watching how others before me are making it down the cliff side – including ropes, climbing gear, negotiating narrow and dangerous paths, just jumping with parachute (or without!). 

“Living at risk is jumping off the cliff and building your wings on the way down.” ~ Ray Bradbury

As I stand there in indecision I take a breath and turn my head to the left – my feminine side – and see before me a path that gently winds its way to this place that I seek.  Ahhh – it has been here inside of me all along!

Now there is choice! An adventure down the dangerous cliff side by finding our own unique way to traverse it is possible, but not the only option.  It would be the journey from that ledge of possibility that teaches about life.  It is the falling in love with it from a place of trusting, and letting go from within that informs us.

Kerri Lake, in a recent piece entitled “Once You Are On The Freeway, You Can’t Back Up” speaks of a pivotal moment in time when mind became dictator and the voice of the universe, disguised in sheriffs garb, brought her back to her senses.  You will find it HERE Thank you to Sherryl Fraunenglass on A Woman’s True Voice, and Kerri Lake for this inspiration!

Sometimes it feels overwhelming to take life full on, yet the alternative is to live imprisoned in a game that doesn’t excite us.  Maybe, just maybe, we can fall in love with the journey no matter how dangerous or difficult it may seem, become sacred co-creators of the world,  move forward in spite of our fears and doubts, and immerse ourselves in the gravity of love.

Ashes and Snow – THE GRAVITY OF LOVE  – Enigma

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Contribution vs Making a Difference!

January 24, 2011

“…why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realized, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life. ~ J.K. Rowling

Having spent some time this weekend in Portland participating in the ritual of sharing 2011 vision boards with two beautiful women friends,  I realized that although I feel like I am on the inside of a cannon about ready to explode in a completely new direction –

Gaye's 2011 Vision Board

that it is the contribution I have to bring in this new direction, place, and creation of relationship that matters most.

As women we often feel that we need to “make a difference” in the world, in our families, in our communities, in our relationships – it goes on and on.  However, might we try on how it feels inside to compare “make a difference” to “make a contribution”.   For me, there is a edge to “make a difference” that is somehow filled with the expectation that we have to do something, and the need to make certain “that something” hits the target that we are aiming at.  It also somehow feels attached to attempting to gain favor or recognition for something – that may or may not be our natural authentic expression.  Feel a little pressure here?

Now there is nothing wrong with challenging ourselves, but how does it feel to simply “contribute” from the still (and sometimes very loud) voice inside that asks you to follow your heart and soul.  To bring that unique expression that is only yours out into the world.  There is a flow that happens  when we reach this place….and a knowing that even if we “fail” in bringing or manifesting our contribution out into the world, that at least we have taken our divine and true nature and given it a voice and a form from which to express.

As J.K. Rowling says in the above quote, when we stop pretending to be other than what and who we are, then we have the energy, passion and commitment to direct into the livelihood/artistic expression/relationships that matters most to us.  We set ourselves free when we contribute from this place of being….and it is here that we thrive.

There are two videos this week that I want to share with you.  The first is of an amazing woman by the name of Jeanne Dowell who is a first-time entrepreneur at the age of 80!  Merging her long-time experience as a yoga teacher, Jeanne, along with her 44 year old daughter, launches a new eco-friendly apparel business – The Green Buddha company.  Jeanne teaches us that it is never too late to contribute and that often, just naturally, that contribution does “make a difference”.

The Green Buddha-oomphtv.com

The second video is at the other end of the age spectrum and features an incredibly courageous, articulate, wise, intelligent and beautiful young woman giving a keynote talk on Martin Luther King Day in her high school auditorium.  Kayla’s contribution is saying YES to her fullest self – even when that may present challenges that she might not know how to handle.  Staying silent however, is not an option for this young woman….and her entire school learns a deep and valuable lesson about being authentic, even when it is terrifying and filled with the unknown.

Maria Carillo Highschool, Santa Rosa, California – Kayla comes out.

May we yield to the Divine nature that we are and trust in the direction that it leads us.

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Our Life Is Our Art

January 17, 2011

Margaret Warfield ~ Artist http://www.margaretwarfield.com

You will find Dewitt Jones on my other blog post this week since he, and what he has created in his life – and continues to expand into – has made such a great impact for me. The title of this blog post is actually a quote from him from his recent interview done with Sheila Finkelstein of Picture To Ponder.

In that interview he said, “taking time to fill your cup every day is an act of creative selfishness.”  If we can see our creativity as  a way to “fall in love with our world” instead of something that other people are judging, then we are well on our way to being authentic in our expression.

That shift in consciousness around our very individual and unique contribution to the world – whatever it is – can not only enliven us, but has the potential to enhance life for other living things as well.

We are connected to something way larger than we are. The energy of passion drives everything and there is something to celebrate in each day.  Our life is our art!

Listen to WHO by Gypsy Soul below, an incredible group from Ashland, Oregon. We are the sum of the choices we make!
This single is the stridently independent Gypsy Soul playing in Seattle’s Triple Door Theatre – part of their Live DVD

“But if you are gonna fail, fail for who you are rather than failing while trying to be good at what other artists and writers have been good at. Fail looking for the truth rather than because you tried to avoid it.

Recognize your beauty, submerge yourself in it, and create out of it.”
Archibald Campbell, Wild Artist, Heron Dance www.herondance.org

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There Is No Supposed to Be

January 10, 2011

There is no ’supposed to be’ in bodies. The question is not size of shape or years of age, or even having two of everything, for some do not. But the wild issue is, does this body feel, does it have right connection to pleasure, to heart, to soul, to the wild? Does it have happiness, joy? Can it in its own way move, dance, jiggle, sway, thrust? Nothing else matters. ~ Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

 

 

So much attention has been put on women’s bodies and whether they are “right” or not.  The fall out from that, which has come from our culture, and to which women have bought into, is that almost no woman is happy with the way that she looks.

Let’s face it, aging is wonderful because it means that we are still here to enjoy life’s moments  – but there are changes that come with that naturally and always!  I love Clarissa Pinkola Estes quote above because it reminds us as women that we have these wonderful feminine bodies to enjoy, create life with, have pleasure within, love with, move down our path with, and “move, dance, sway, jiggle, and thrust” into the wildness of our lives.

Here is a video that made me smile – and start moving and swaying myself.  The singer is obviously having a marvelous time in her body with multiple colors adorning it…. and singing her heart out.  I challenge you to stay still on this one and not smile at least once!

La Santa Cecilia – La Negra

EMBRACE YOUR UNIQUENESS!

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Reflections on Growth and Change

January 3, 2011

We have entered a New Year and a shift to increased light in each day.  Light to shed on the new possibilities and opportunities ever present as we walk the path of our lives.  It is the custom of many at the beginning of the year to make “resolutions” and be very committed to them for the first two months or so – then lose interest, or momentum, as time moves on.  I know – I’ve been there! But for the last two years I have chosen to do something different.  I have created vision boards from a place of openness and receptivity.  Last years focus was on “coming as you are” – in other words no hiding anything and fully expressing!

Vision Board 2010

This year I sat with two women friends on the first day of 2011 again creating vision boards, and taking part in ritual to shift each one of us into a receptive space of letting go, and opening to bringing in.  Part of that ritual included making a list of the perceived positive and negative events/experiences that happened over the last year that has just ended.  After sharing with each other we burned them in a ritual of letting go, and then proceeded to meditate together for 11 minutes (for 2011) before starting our creations.  Reflecting back on this time together a day later I find that ritual with other women feels like “coming home”.

 

Sitting down to start selecting images and words to remind of intentions around actions to be taken, energies to embody, and paths to explore,  it seemed more important to put the focus on one word for the entire year.  Every experience in 2011 would be informed by the energy and layers of that word.  My word was WEALTH – in all of its many meanings.

 

For some guidelines on choosing your word for the year go to Christine Kane’s – Your Word of the Year Discovery Tool at: http://christinekane.com/blog/a-free-gift-to-uplevel-your-2011/

In ending this post I want to say that I sometimes wonder about the  “shells” that we often encase ourselves within – patterns, beliefs,  and self imposed limitations – keeping us from expressing and being the fullness of who we are as women and unique beings.  I know that has been true for me.  Are we really “protecting” ourselves, or is it time to break through the shell and shine, show our light and our strength, and challenge the engrained and contracted self imposed boxes we sometimes place ourselves in.  The mere act of breaking the shell ignites the process of coming home!

 

I say in this first post of 2011 – what if you decided to break through the shell?

Rachel of Mandala Custom Homes (FB) posted a link to the blog of  Anthony Lawlor – author, muse, and architect.  I post it here for all of you to read the wise words he has written, and to witness the miracle of the determined life form to break from its shell.

dwellingherenow.blogspot.com

 

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