Women Who Thrive, Change The World!

Self Inflicted Random Acts of Kindness and Generosity

December 27, 2010

This being the last post of the year I decided that I would send you to the post that is on BreathingSpaces (click here) with a little extra added on for women.

My experience as a woman is that women are experts at giving and relating…but receiving, or giving to themselves,  often isn’t quite as easy.  Along with the proposed New Year’s Commitment for 2011 I say let’s remember to perform random acts of kindness and generosity for, and directed towards, ourselves…and receive graciously with full openness and surrender.

How about that for a New Years Resolution?! Women Who Thrive, Change The World!

Joyous, Peaceful and Abundant 2011!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Women’s Bodies, Women’s Flourishing!

December 19, 2010

“Imagine a Woman” poem has circled the globe. It has been read by politicians in South Africa and Bermuda, genocide survivors in Rwanda, artists at their showings, graduates at their graduations, friends at cronings and birthdays, ministers at memorials and commitment ceremonies. It is tweeted, blogged, posted, and loved throughout the world! The poem is 15 years old.  Thank you to: Sherryl Frauenglass: A Woman’s True Voice

I started with this poem as it is a great entry for the focus of todays post. A couple of days ago I was at my optometrist listening to him lecture me on the fact that I was seeing, without correction, at 20/70 and that was not good enough to drive without glasses or contacts.

I sat there reflecting on the fact that over the past 10 years or so my vision has improved as I have consciously worked with lowering the correction in my contact lenses….and more importantly seeing my world, my life, and my body as an exciting creative art piece that I have been so lovingly gifted with this lifetime.

For whatever reason I held back from him the information that I used to be tested at having vision without correction at 20/350 in one eye and 20/400 in the other!  I somehow wanted to savor that without any explanations from my very competent optometrist….

Much to my delight Susan Gala’s Inspiring The Whole Radiant You posted a video by Christiane Northrup, M.D. whom I have followed for some time now.  I share this with you as a reminder of who you are….and what you can create with awareness and commitment to your individual thriving and that of the women who’s lives you touch.  Let the words of Christiane inspire you for 2011 to become “the whole radiant you” NOW as you age into beauty and flourishing!

Christiane Northrup, M.D., pioneer and visionary in the field of women’s health, brings her seventh special to PBS, WOMEN’S BODIES, WOMEN’S WISDOM. This program is based on the fourth revision of her classic text, and brings to viewers Dr. Northrup’s newest thinking about how women at all ages can transform their relationships with their bodies, inside and out.

(Oh, and by the way I was told that my contact prescription needed to be changed as I was “over corrected” and cataracts were beginning to form in my eyes too!)

RESOURCES:
Susan Gala's Inspiring the Whole Radiant YouSusan Gala’s Inspiring the Whole Radiant You

Sherryl Frauenglass: A Woman's True VoiceSherryl Frauenglass: A Woman’s True Voice

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The Money Paradox – The Power of One Honoring Their Path

December 12, 2010
Over the past few weeks, as I continue to straddle several worlds of livelihood in my own life, I have been lead to reflect deeply on what will not only bring sufficient cash flow to sustain me, but most importantly will be in alignment with who I am in my fullest and deepest authentic expression and my deep desire to bring good into this world.  There are many of us who have worked diligently on our own “money wounds” and have attempted many strategies for clearing away the “shame” and illusional beliefs around this particular form of energy called money. 

 

 

Recently I have come to the conclusion that a lot of our own self worth has been tied into whether we “have it”, whether we “have enough of it” and whether we “are enough” in order to make/create “it”.  It seems such a waste of precious life energy to have so much of our time and attention tied into such a paradox….and this global scarcity paradigm pervades everything!

 

Many of us are finally coming around to deeply honoring whatever it is that we are called to do, whether it be in the arts, health professions, or business….and disengaging it from having to make large amounts of money from whatever it is that we are doing.   Though that may naturally happen  – it is not the “end all” goal, nor does it define who we are and what we have to bring.

 

When I had my own business in massage, breath work, yoga therapy and women’s  retreats, I remember the thoughts of “needing one more person to sign up” or “having enough clients for the week” which seemed to be a never ending cycle of  “not enough” and struggle – which then translated inside of me to “I guess I am just not enough because I don’t know how to do this and sustain my well being at the same time in the manner that my culture tells me I should be doing”!  In fact, I loved what I was doing, but the self imposed pressure to “make more money” took away from that natural feeling of fulfillment and creativity.

We all know that this is a journey that most all of us have to walk, until we find the peace inside of ourselves to do what it is that deeply calls to us from a place much deeper than monetary gain.  Sometimes that means we will have “lean” times, and sometimes we will have “abundant monetary” gains….but amidst it all is the knowing that we are listening to what moves us, honoring our creativity, heart, intelligence, and intuition –   and giving it out into the world as the video above reflects to us.

 

This week a Facebook connection that I think highly of posted a piece that you will find below.  McCall has been consciously walking her path for awhile now and I found this piece deeply honest and real.  This may touch some of you and others may disagree,…but what is important here is that we speak what is moving in us, share our stories, and support each other in walking the path of “enough” – ourselves and the resources we have at our disposal.  I have asked that we start a revolution – a revolution of ENOUGH – of perhaps more than enough – as we look in the mirror at our magnificent beings and recognize the “power of one” walking a soul path !  Thank you McCall for this piece and for stimulating dialog!

The Money Paradox: Feeding the Belly and the Dream

by McCall Erickson: Loving Life At The Edge

So many of us are feeling it now. The urge to do deeper work, to excavate our deepest gifts, passion, and truth, to be the change we want to see in the world.

Not only are we feeling it, we’re doing it! We can’t help but do this. And in doing so, we’re often called to leave behind many traditional life patterns. Including traditional jobs.

Enter money.

Yikes.

How do we continue to pay our bills while following our hearts? We can’t turn away from our soul’s work any sooner than we can avoid death and taxes. We also can’t turn away from the fact that our rent is due, we have mouths to feed, and god damnit it still takes money to live in this world. (Don’t worry; I’m working on a revolution to change that) But for now…

Let me share with you a few key points that have helped me shift and soften this money conundrum since leaving my 9-5 job five years ago to follow dreams.

First, we must must ditch the “Do what you love and the money will follow” saying.
I don’t know where this woo-woo-feel-good tagline came from, but evidence shows it’s serving the credit card industry, NOT the soul-saving-change-the-world-with-your-dreams industry. It’s just not reality for most people to instantly make money doing what they love, and I am “most people.”

Let’s face it; we are in a culture that doesn’t pay change-the-world-creative-types the big bucks. We pay doctors, lawyers, athletes, and Hollywood mega stars. Many of us are called to follow a soul path of music, writing, art, healing, mentoring, and teaching that doesn’t pay the big bucks. So? We’ll do it anyway if that’s what our souls call us to do. We’ll do what we love and figure out a way to pay the bills. Some may call this limited thinking. I call it reality.

Next, we must must stop attaching our worth or how well we are following our true path to how much money we are bringing in from it.
There’s a saying among writers that goes, “The only difference between not being published and being published is being published.” Same goes for making money from our gifts. One of my greatest mentors is an amazing writer. All of her books are self-published and as good (and more life-changing) than many books I’ve read on the best-seller list. But she doesn’t pay her mortgage from book royalties. (Few authors do) But she is hitting her soul calling right on the mark.

As for me, I felt like the most dreadful failure a year after quitting my job, writing killer songs, creating my own buzz in the indie music scene, and expecting the money to follow, because “God damnit I was following my passion!” but instead I had a $10,000 credit card bill in my hands and no way to pay my rent.

And I couldn’t go back to a 9-5 job. I just couldn’t.  I’d come too far on my own path.

Rock
and
a
hard
place
!

Learn to negotiate to fund the dream.
So, I got a waitressing job, knocked out my debt, kept food (organic food, of course) on my table, and kept writing songs. Strangely, that waitressing job made me feel less of a failure and more at peace knowing I was taking care of shit on my end. I’ve gone in and out of seasons of needing my waitressing job to pay the bills since then, because sometimes I’m making enough from my dreams than other times. I am no longer ashamed or prideful about that either way. It is what it is. It’s all an energy flow, and there are greater things at play here than I have control over.

These days I’m not picky about where the money comes from, as long as I’m living true to my heart and bringing good to the world. I can do that while waiting tables too. Some people can even do that while working a 9-5 job. Truth be known, you’ll find me more often than not advising my clients to keep their day jobs as long as possible. Day jobs can be a blessing. They can fund the dream! I say, stay until staying truly interferes with your soul moving forward, not until you merely have a case of entitlement and wish you were somewhere other than there. Only you can know when that is.

Embrace the paradox.
All this said, I still find myself falling into the trap of thinking “Someday when I figure out how to really make money with this. Someday, when I’m discovered. Someday….then the money paradox will go away.” Hmf! It never goes away. It might soften and get easier over time, and yes, we really can (and do) make money following our hearts and using our gifts. But the paradox is always there. Even for Oprah, Meryl Streep, and James Taylor. We all need money to live. Embrace the paradox, and it softens. I promise.

Alright my friends, that’s all I have for now. I just gave you my best on the money issue. As always, open to hearing your take on things. We all grow together when we share our experience, strength, and hope.

From one dream-builder to another,

McCall

McCall Erickson: Loving Life At The Edge

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It Is Our Imperfection That Connects Us

December 5, 2010

As the holiday season gets fully underway the stress of attempting to be “perfect” in doing all that “needs to be done”  hits us with full force.  Connection with others becomes foremost in our every day experience as we juggle shopping, working, parties, entertaining, and on and on.  Emotions run their highs and lows, and at times we end up
wishing all of it would just “be over with”.

A couple of weeks ago a video came my way which was a very well done interview by Patricia Gras with Dr. Brene Brown.  Dr. Brown has done extensive qualitative research on the emotion of “shame” and its intimate connection with perfectionism.  She states that shame is a very primitive emotion and that it has to do with fear of disconnection.

Connection is “hard wired” into our being as humans and is a basic need.  Shame is an intensely painful feeling or belief that we are flawed in some way and somehow inadequate or unworthy of connection.

Our culture, through media and advertising, blasts us with perfectionism and ridicules those who are not – claiming that we will be accepted and loved if we are perfect.
We end up struggling and creating the very disconnection that we fear the most.

It is here that we are invited to look at areas of our lives where we struggle with perfectionism, and more importantly to share the stories with others we trust when we experience shame.  It is our imperfection that connects us with each other – our shared humanity.

Thus, in attempting “perfection” we are actually disconnecting from the very connection we long for.  In authentically sharing our experiences and receiving those stories from others with empathy we are connecting on the deep levels that call to us from our primitive instincts.  Dr. Brown states “shame cannot survive empathy”.

(Go to Part 2 for the second half)  (Thank you to Lynn Walker for this video!)

This holiday season let go of the perfection and appreciate your own humanity and that of others.  Tell stories, listen to each other, and connect on real and authentic levels.  Let go.  Might this contribute to a different holiday season?

Now go to this video and see how easy it is to be connected just by being yourself as you are in the moment and simply waiting for the love to be reflected back to you.  Don’t let anything get in the way of living your life in connection!

OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT: www.BreathingSpaces.net

This Weeks Post: Vibration – Another Look At Sacred Geometry

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A Mantle For Inner Awareness

November 29, 2010

“A shawl or mantle – This is an insulating instrument, if not a portable sanctuary: a protective veil between you and the world. Such a cloak, if it is a well-used one, becomes saturated over time with your peace-filled devotion to Creator, Creation and Peace. Such a tapestry is effective during meditation and prayer, when sitting still in your home or nature sanctuary, when strolling, listening to uplifting music, and even sitting at your desk working. “

-Dr C. Forrest McDowell  www.onesanctuary.com

So, it is here that I introduce Kay Moates of On Slender Threads.   Kay, like many of us, went through a radical change and shift in her livelihood, as well as her inner creative awareness of what her next leap in life would be not that long ago.  I have the distinct honor of owning a mantle by Kay and use it daily to create my own sanctuary of inner peace and reflection.   The process that she goes through in order to create one of these mantles is a reflection of the depth of the shift that she made.  Kay was invited to write of the leap that she took from a dance world to one of reflective creation.  Below is her short story of the moments that took her through the passage and into creating On Slender Threads.  Go to her website to learn more!

A Gaggle of Leaps by Kay Moates

Last class taught, performance encored, stage struck, accoutrements neatly pack away . . . well, how about the passions, how about forty years of teaching deeper living through dance and movement . . . how do I fold them up and pack them away? How do I tell those images that dance in my head it’s time to stop, time to be done, over, kaput? “You’re hereby retired!”

No way would the images curtsy. “Fan those passion embers, Kay, fuel the flames!”

Ah, I remembered what I’d taught for years, ‘there’s more than one way to do the same thing’. How many times have I asked dancers to do that? “Well, now you do it, Kay!” So I descended into pondering. Gathering my favorite things into a new expression that kept shifting like a kaleidoscope. First one shape, then another, and another . . . Finally all the parts began to congeal.

What a re-defining this would require of me! Skills that were so different I was a stranger in a foreign land. In most cases I didn’t even know the vocabulary for framing questions. And so, the gaggle began. What, use words, write them down, but I’m a non-verbal specialist . . . leap. I must become competent with my Mac . . . leap, understand the internet and surf . . . leap, leap . . . join established internet sales venues . . . leap, purchase and learn a new camera . . . leap, take photos that give a virtual touch . . . leap, learn photoshop . . . leap, and leap yet again and again. Leaping is a playful game now.

Probably the biggest leap is yet to be landed. How does a contemplative who creates in Silence market Mindfulness Mantles via social media? Here goes. Are you watching?

Inhaling, bending knees, pushing off, air borne, straightening legs, softening joints, opening heart into full fall . . . arms spread wing wide . . .

To Find Kay at On Slender Threads please go to: 

http://www.OnSlenderThreads.com
http://www.facebook.com/OnSlenderThreadsWearableZenMoments

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In Beauty May I Walk – Leaps Are Optional

November 18, 2010

Look at every path closely and deliberately, then ask ourselves this crucial question: Does this path have a heart? If it does, then the path is good. If it doesn’t, it is of no use.
– Carlos Castaneda

 

 

 

Here is the cast for this post, for without each one this awareness would not have been birthed:

Shakti-Samtosha (Peace-Contentment) yoga practice

Carl, representing Health and Wellness coaching

Jan, who is unraveling the grief around the death of her beloved husband after many years of illness

Ron, who is facing an activation of the cancer that he has been living with for the past year

Adam, who is caught in his own world of mental illness, but does not know it

Lea and her personal story on returning to a state of ease

Unexpected income –  who shall henceforth be named “Wealth”

Now that the stage is set, the story can be told.  Have you been told that in order to succeed, or get unstuck you need to leap off of the cliff, precipice or ledge and trust that you will fly?  Well I have, and in fact guided others in this free flight as well.   In fact I have done it many times in my life – leaping, flying, and sometimes falling on my face – with great lessons to be learned.  The question is – are you leaping away or towards yourself?

What if it is true that all the events in our life are personally orchestrated by us in order to come “home” …and without each event, each person, each experience we would not understand why we are here, and certainly wouldn’t be able to make those choices that serve our highest well being, and that of everyone and everything we touch.

This awareness may not help when we are in the midst of unbearable grief, full on fear for our lives, intense worry about financial well being, distorted thinking and a feeling of utter abandonment, or uncertainty about what our next step will be.

Yet, it is here in this rich territory of choice and head-on life that we find that it may not be as dramatic as jumping off of a cliff, but instead, like a powerful dream of mine several years ago.  A realization that as you are standing on the edge trying to think your way down to “safety” or the next leap – a path suddenly appears as you turn your head to look at what is around  you.  A path that is uniquely yours and leads in an easeful  and clear (although sometimes not seeming to) way to your next destination.  All you have to do is listen, feel, and start walking…

So, here is the story.  There is an older woman that has done many things in her life that she feels good about.  She has given birth to and nurtured 3 boys into manhood; spent many, many years in the healing professions bringing people into embodiment through touch, breath, energy, listening, guiding, and love; has created 3 businesses on her own and enjoyed the creative process of each one; spent a total of 21 years in living relationships with men who taught her a great deal; owned houses; taught yoga; traveled to far away places, had adventures,  and learned from shamans and healers; called dolphins to her in the wilds of the ocean; continues to act on her passion for writing; and adores the creative and uninhibited joy of dance and art.

This woman feels she is now at a crossroads – a pivotal point.  Many options and possibilities are open to her.  Does she start another business in health and wellness coaching, join a community of evolutionary visionaries, write her book, or stay where she is which is out-of-alignment with who she knows she is and what she has to bring?

In this only two day journey, the beginning is marked by a yoga practice focused on peace and contentment. A yoga practice that she has put on the shelf for a period of time.  Falling into her body, breath, and surrendering her tight and contracted body she cries.  The waking up has begun.

She receives an e-mail from one of her readers, Jan, that shares the fragile place she finds herself in the aftermath of her husbands death, and the knowing that she did everything she could to help him.  The reader reports that she can hardly find her way to reach out to what she may need at this time.  This honesty touches this woman reminding her that everyone is doing the best they can with what they have – including her, and that sometimes it is not right timing to reach out – that each person’s journey can only be chosen by them.

This is emphasized even more by her brother Rons quest for health and life in his journey with cancer, having to deal with some very difficult treatment choices – and her son Adams mental illness that has him locked within his own mind unable to accept the fact, or even be aware, that he needs loving assistance to come back to life – his life.

Waves of energy hit her and clarity begins to filter through.  There doesn’t have to be a leap, free fall, or soaring as the case may be.  It isn’t fear or uncertainty that make the decision not to pursue the health and wellness coaching with the large training company.  An e-mail is written to Carl, the director of marketing.  She now knows that it is alignment with beauty, peace, essential nature, and ease that has been calling for days now – not the path to growing yet another business, no matter how qualified she is.

On the second day of this awakening a friend Lea (www.ReplenishYourSoul.com) writes of her journey back towards ease in her life, having seen the effects of struggle and pushing patterns in body, mind and relationship over this last year. Just a gentle walk to another location inside that says here – here is where you are to be.  Trust and honor what you know.

Guidance is coming in many forms now as the waking up – speeds up.  A letter arrives in the P.O. box which says in the window – Pay To The Order Of – with her name on it.  Unexpected income.  Flow of Wealth. The message – honor your path and the flow returns.

Not making a choice because it might be “good for her to take yet another leap”  – but acknowledging and honoring the place inside that says TRUST – it will be shown to you.  There are many ways to return to and know your path.  Listen in to your bodies messages.  Just turn your head and start walking.  Leaps are sometimes necessary, but always optional…

Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked, in which you can walk with love and reverence.
– Henry David Thoreau

P.S  The woman is me. Deep gratitude to the cast!

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If I Were Brave

November 13, 2010

May today I find peace within.

Green Tara

May I trust my highest power
that I am exactly where I am meant to be.
May I not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May I use those gifts that I have received
and pass on the love that has been given to me.
May I be content knowing that I am a child of God.
May this Presence settle into my bones,
and allow my soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.

– St Teresa of Avila (16th Century Spanish Saint)

It is with the quote above that I start this post on being brave and courageous in your life.  I too, like so many of you, stand on the precipice.  As I stand here I remember that you are here with me as well, but that somehow doesn’t stop the thought – Gee, you would think that it would be easier by now since I have been here so many times before.

Perhaps that is the definition of a life well lived….you stand here many, many times and have the opportunity to create your own unique leaping dance trusting that even if you fall on your face….. there will be a “lifting up” that inspires you to leap yet again.

As Chameli Ardah states on her Awakening Women blog “the Green Tara above embodies the fearless and protective aspect of the feminine, but it is not courage which resists fear. If you think of fear and courage as two ends of a spectrum, we need to be willing to move through the whole range”.    This means that standing in the fear is part of this leap process.

Thus easy isn’t quite the word that defines this passage.  I have learned that when we are seeking alignment with our passions and the Divine plan for our life, it is then that we consider taking those leaps and making those choices that bring us into the discovery of what that still small voice has been saying to us for oh so long.

It is here that faith and trust in the wholeness of who we are comes into play.  It is also here that we remember who we really are….and say YES!  Yes, to the healing, yes to one more day to love and be loved, yes to starting over again one more time, yes to the creativity that sometimes rocks us with its insistence that it be brought out into the world, yes to the risk of finding more of who we are, yes to being vulnerable, being “seen” and surrendering the resistance, yes to giving back from a full place with every fiber of our being.

It can come in big leaps, but also can come in stages like the walking of a labyrinth where each step brings you closer to the edge of discovery…and then to the heart of the matter.  The clues are all around us right now.  All we need to do is be still and listen carefully.  The answer is always there.

As you watch this video by Jana Stanfield remember that you are also one of these women that reached deeply inside, found her strength and courage, was not afraid to ask for support as needed, and leapt into Herself, settling into this Presence deep within  your bones.  Rock on!

Thank you to Jana Stanfield and the sponsorship of Robin Rice (The Awesome Women Hub)  and Randy Grossman  (Randy Grossmans Amazing Music Portal)
for birthing this project.

If I Were Brave – by Jana Stanfield

 

Other Blogs by Gaye Abbott:  www.BreathingSpaces.net

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What Is A Goddess?

November 4, 2010

Sandro Botticelli has been wandering in and out of my life these days…an artist who infused his art pieces so that when viewing them they were not just seen with the eyes, but with all of the senses.  I believe that he had a very deep feel for the Divine and Sacred Feminine through his devotion to honoring the beauty, wisdom, creativity, and intelligence of the feminine in a time when women were seen more as possessions and pawns in the games of men.

Coming on the heels of the last post here I venture into the territory of “What is a Goddess?”  Not the New Age version…but truly, deeply what is that for you?  The word CREATOR comes to my awareness.  As women we create from our bodies, connected with

Primivara by Boticelli

the Earth and all of its creations.  Even if we have never birthed children we are creators of the life around us in a different way than men.  It is our birthright to create and to give to others within that energetic relationship.  How we do that is unique to each woman.

Here is a video that gives us some amazing images and words that may clarify for you the meanings behind the word Goddess.  The music by Enigma lends to the journey.  May you celebrate the multitude of expressions that are you.

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Manifesto for Conscious Men

October 28, 2010

Facebook is a multifaceted animal these days.  You can get lost in the endless postings that come through your home page, or in many cases can connect with like minded souls that inspire and create greater awareness, shifts, laughter, joy and community.  It was this latter path that took me to Gay Hendricks page on A Manifesto for Conscious Men. He and Arjuna Ardajh have co-created this together ( as well as inspired by the presence of conscious women in their lives) and are asking for feedback and suggestions.  I invite you to go to the link below and tell them what you think and feel after reading the “Manifesto”.  There are great comments on the page already!  Click here for the link and bring your voice!

As the principle of interconnectedness, inseparability, and union of Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine provides us with a continuous reminder of our relationship to the whole of creation,  it is time to come together in collaborative partnership.  The tasks before us as men and women, males and females, are huge indeed.  Perhaps it is these very tasks that are co-creating the alignment that is being asked for between us.

Other Blogs by Gaye Abbott:  www.BreathingSpaces.net

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Remember Who You Are – Align With Your Creative Source

October 20, 2010

A few weeks ago now, through a series of actions that I took in alignment with feelings that I wanted to express – a beautiful, passionate voiced being came into my life by the name of Angelica.  You will find that post here on this blog with a video of Angelica bringing her gift of singing into a cathedral which she filled with the beauty of her voice and her presence.

I do believe that when we as women come in touch with our own creative source and align with that by bringing it out into the world, we love others into alignment.  Angelica is a beautiful example of that for she has touched me with her story and her creative gifts – and through that has reminded me of my own creations that await to be passionately launched into flight.

Below you will find a chapter from her book which comes with her CD – Remember Who You Are. I encourage each one of you to go to her website below and appreciate that you too are even now “remembering who you are” through daily aligning with your creative source, opening to possibility, and taking action steps from that place.  You are not alone….

Deep gratitude and appreciation to Angelica who has touched my life with her voice and her being.  Road trip to Canada anyone??

******************************

Remember Who You Are
- The Story Behind The Song –
by Angelica Ganea-Mileto

www.iamAngelica.com

My Journey
When I first came to Canada, what caught my attention was the rich palette of wonderful opportunities this country had to offer: jobs, colleges where one could study at any age, food in abundance, heat in the winter, air conditioning in the summer, beautifully paved streets, the possibility of choosing a car and a house based on your income… There were literally hundreds of things that made me feel so blessed the moment I made this country my new home. However, along with all that, there was a very tiny question beginning to take root in my mind: “Why wasn’t I born here?”

Why did I have to be born in a country where the main source of heat in the winter was the gas-cooking stove so we had to go to sleep wearing sweaters, mittens, and hats? Why did I have to be born in a country where, to provide milk for their children, mothers had to wait in line outside the grocery store at four o’clock in the morning regardless of the weather, a country where bread, oil, flour, and meat were rationed?

Why did I have to be born in a country where television programs were broadcast for only two hours a day, where it was normal to be stuck in the elevator for hours due to the government disconnecting the electricity for economic reasons, where the grocery stores carried bananas, oranges and raisins only at Christmas? Why wasn’t I born here instead, and able to have the abundance Canada offered?

Why did I have to be born in a communist country and be restricted and fearful as a child, having to monitor my words very carefully because my parents could be put in jail or even go “missing” if I misspoke? Why wasn’t I born here instead and able to feel the freedom of not being afraid?
Why did I have to be born in a country where for years, the songs we had sung as children were imposed upon us? Why wasn’t I born in Canada and able to blossom as a singer in the way I believed I could? Instead, I found myself here as an adult, feeling fearful about the direction I wanted to take, not even knowing the language, looking to take the subway train from “Subway,” the sandwich place, and feeling so silly about it later…

Without realizing it, I slowly started to resent not only where I had come from, but also where I was in the present. My determination to pursue my career in Canada was always very strong— the thought of succeeding was what actually kept me going— but at the same time I felt overwhelmed by the length of the process. It felt as if I had been born all over again, only this time already grown-up and having to bury deep inside almost everything I’d ever known, while trying to find a way to adjust to something that felt very much alien. And even though in the back of my mind I always knew that the scenarios of both my past and my present were not the most unfortunate conditions that exist on this planet, I was still hanging on to the question, “Why?”
Little did I know that by trying to find the answer to that question I was fighting a futile battle, keeping myself prisoner in a bubble of illusion- the illusion that I was not in charge of my own life. And by doing so, I could never find the answer to a yet deeper question, the answer that would give me the peace I was actually looking for: “Why do things happen a certain way?”

I don’t have all the answers, and I love the fact that I don’t, simply because exploring life one step at a time is beautiful. One thing I’m sure of, however, is that my words and music are rooted in the perspective that I hold due to living my life’s experiences, and that I know to be my truth. This is what my words and music are about. They are about the moment I let myself peek through my own little box and dared to be open to new possibilities. They are about the moment I felt as if a window had just opened and the freshest smell of crisp morning air touched my face and quickly filled my whole body with boundless freedom… After years of being stuck in the vicious circle of thinking that my life wasn’t going anywhere it finally occurred to me: does it really matter where we are at the moment of birth? Does it really matter where we are at any point in our life?

Leaving the judgment behind, I finally realized how my life up until that point had nothing to do with the direction my future would take. The past remains the past; it cannot be changed, as hard as it may be to accept this, but what I can change is the direction my life is going. And I can do that by using one of the most valuable tools available to me at any moment in time: the freedom of choosing my own perspective.

The perspective we choose is what contributes to creating our moods and our emotional responses which in turn energize our experiences, carving out what we call our destiny with undeniable precision. I can choose to have a negative perspective and fall into the trap of feeling like a victim, kneeling with my arms raised up to the sky, asking eternally “Why?” Or I can choose to change how I am viewing the present; acknowledge the blessing of simply being born. Being born, therefore having the opportunity to feel empowered by my own desire, while holding on to the knowing that it’s up to me to make it true.

Looking back at the conditions in my native country while holding no judgment, gives me now an incredible feeling of liberation. The conditions of life were harsh indeed, but that’s all we knew. We had no model by which to compare them, since we didn’t have access to the world outside our borders. So at the time, the situation didn’t feel as negative as it felt when I was able to compare it with Canada, one of the best countries in the world!

Even though our leader was keeping himself occupied with creating and applying more restrictions, we still shared love with our family and friends, found reasons to laugh and enjoy each other’s company; we still had beautiful bedtime stories and sang lullabies to our children. There was nothing that could make us lose sight of our inner freedom, nothing that could make us lose our hope. I remember when I was a child, there was absolutely no way anybody could pull me out of my imaginary world where every single moment was sparkling with desire and sweet anticipation of a beautiful future; my imaginary world where anything was possible.
Then I looked back upon the journey I had undertaken from the moment I made Canada my new home, and even though nothing is ever really wrong with anything, I wished that I hadn’t let myself feel so much negative emotion. I wished that I hadn’t allowed myself to be caught up in what I believed was my reality and react in ways that had actually brought upon me even more negative emotions…

Immigrating is not easy for anybody; the challenges are tangible and can be painful, especially if you are leaving a career behind, moving to a country where you don’t know the language, and having to go to school in order to get a job. However, it’s a process that gave me the opportunity to explore life in a much different way. It helped me realize the power in the simplicity of making a clear choice: the choice between moving along with the process or resist it; the choice between living with peace or living with pain and resentment…

I chose to feel better. I chose to look at challenges with appreciation and accept the idea that immigrating to such a beautiful country was equal to having a second chance at life. I chose to recognize the huge potential of being able to use the resources this beautiful country has to offer as an opportunity to become much stronger and much more than I had ever been before.

Changing my perspective was one of the most fulfilling and rewarding feelings I’d ever had up until that point. Looking at my past and my present through different eyes, forgiving everything and everybody that I thought were responsible for my struggles, helped me find the peace of mind I so needed in order to be able to look forward with courage and anticipation.

Once I let go of the weight of the judgment, my mind became clearer. And as I was learning about the power of thought, the power of intention and visualization, I realized something that stopped me in my tracks and put a smile of astonishment on my face… I remembered the very desire I had as a child, the beautiful future I kept living in my mind every single night as I was going to sleep, year after year. It was that strong, innocent desire that had paved the path for moving to a country that provided all the resources necessary to fulfill my dream. It took me thirteen years to realize that what I was resenting was my opportunity to fulfill my dream. It took me thirteen years to realize that what I was resenting was my process of becoming.

I would have never known what deep passion and true appreciation really felt like if it weren’t for the times I had to give up the only thing that defined me. I’ve learned that music is truly my identity, and that life lived without following my passion is a life filled with unanswered questions. But mostly, I’ve learned that we all are pure spirit, joyful, perfect beings. Therefore, we all have the ability to get in touch with our divine Self and, while living life from that standpoint, inspire others to have the courage to reach for their own dreams.

I am not going to stay here and tell you “anything is possible,” but what I am going to tell you is this: never give up on yourself. No matter where you are on this planet, no matter the conditions around you, it can always get better if you choose it to be better. It can always get better if you choose to adopt a positive perspective and appreciate everything that makes up your moment of now. It can always get better if you choose to hold on to the thought of future accomplishments instead of the thought of not wanting to be where you are. It can always get better if you focus on the clear picture of what you want to achieve and stay strong in your decision to do what makes you feel good. It can always get better if you stay loyal to the truth inside, if you follow your heart. Only then are limiting boundaries and man-made rules broken; only then does “anything is possible” become more than just words, as you will feel their meaning and naturally live it.

Don’t question your ability to reach heights you’ve never even imagined, and certainly don’t let the question “How am I going to do it?” shadow your desire. The most beautiful, most rewarding part of listening to your heart is that you need not worry about how it will happen. You need not worry about the steps you must take toward materializing your desire. The Universe will send everything you need in order for you to accomplish what you came here to do. The right circumstances, the right people, the right words will undoubtedly make their way toward you if you trust the process and look for the beauty and the majestic purpose in everything. I know that, now…
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Creative Expression, Manifesting Your Dreams

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