Women Who Thrive, Change The World!

Posts tagged ‘Women’

It Is Our Imperfection That Connects Us

As the holiday season gets fully underway the stress of attempting to be “perfect” in doing all that “needs to be done”  hits us with full force.  Connection with others becomes foremost in our every day experience as we juggle shopping, working, parties, entertaining, and on and on.  Emotions run their highs and lows, and at times we end up
wishing all of it would just “be over with”.

A couple of weeks ago a video came my way which was a very well done interview by Patricia Gras with Dr. Brene Brown.  Dr. Brown has done extensive qualitative research on the emotion of “shame” and its intimate connection with perfectionism.  She states that shame is a very primitive emotion and that it has to do with fear of disconnection.

Connection is “hard wired” into our being as humans and is a basic need.  Shame is an intensely painful feeling or belief that we are flawed in some way and somehow inadequate or unworthy of connection.

Our culture, through media and advertising, blasts us with perfectionism and ridicules those who are not – claiming that we will be accepted and loved if we are perfect.
We end up struggling and creating the very disconnection that we fear the most.

It is here that we are invited to look at areas of our lives where we struggle with perfectionism, and more importantly to share the stories with others we trust when we experience shame.  It is our imperfection that connects us with each other – our shared humanity.

Thus, in attempting “perfection” we are actually disconnecting from the very connection we long for.  In authentically sharing our experiences and receiving those stories from others with empathy we are connecting on the deep levels that call to us from our primitive instincts.  Dr. Brown states “shame cannot survive empathy”.

(Go to Part 2 for the second half)  (Thank you to Lynn Walker for this video!)

This holiday season let go of the perfection and appreciate your own humanity and that of others.  Tell stories, listen to each other, and connect on real and authentic levels.  Let go.  Might this contribute to a different holiday season?

Now go to this video and see how easy it is to be connected just by being yourself as you are in the moment and simply waiting for the love to be reflected back to you.  Don’t let anything get in the way of living your life in connection!

OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT: www.BreathingSpaces.net

This Weeks Post: Vibration – Another Look At Sacred Geometry


Manifesto for Conscious Men

Facebook is a multifaceted animal these days.  You can get lost in the endless postings that come through your home page, or in many cases can connect with like minded souls that inspire and create greater awareness, shifts, laughter, joy and community.  It was this latter path that took me to Gay Hendricks page on A Manifesto for Conscious Men. He and Arjuna Ardajh have co-created this together ( as well as inspired by the presence of conscious women in their lives) and are asking for feedback and suggestions.  I invite you to go to the link below and tell them what you think and feel after reading the “Manifesto”.  There are great comments on the page already!  Click here for the link and bring your voice!

As the principle of interconnectedness, inseparability, and union of Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine provides us with a continuous reminder of our relationship to the whole of creation,  it is time to come together in collaborative partnership.  The tasks before us as men and women, males and females, are huge indeed.  Perhaps it is these very tasks that are co-creating the alignment that is being asked for between us.

Other Blogs by Gaye Abbott www.BreathingSpaces.net

Remember Who You Are – Align With Your Creative Source

A few weeks ago now, through a series of actions that I took in alignment with feelings that I wanted to express – a beautiful, passionate voiced being came into my life by the name of Angelica.  You will find that post here on this blog with a video of Angelica bringing her gift of singing into a cathedral which she filled with the beauty of her voice and her presence.

I do believe that when we as women come in touch with our own creative source and align with that by bringing it out into the world, we love others into alignment.  Angelica is a beautiful example of that for she has touched me with her story and her creative gifts – and through that has reminded me of my own creations that await to be passionately launched into flight.

Below you will find a chapter from her book which comes with her CD – Remember Who You Are. I encourage each one of you to go to her website below and appreciate that you too are even now “remembering who you are” through daily aligning with your creative source, opening to possibility, and taking action steps from that place.  You are not alone….

Deep gratitude and appreciation to Angelica who has touched my life with her voice and her being.  Road trip to Canada anyone??


Remember Who You Are
- The Story Behind The Song –
by Angelica Ganea-Mileto


My Journey
When I first came to Canada, what caught my attention was the rich palette of wonderful opportunities this country had to offer: jobs, colleges where one could study at any age, food in abundance, heat in the winter, air conditioning in the summer, beautifully paved streets, the possibility of choosing a car and a house based on your income… There were literally hundreds of things that made me feel so blessed the moment I made this country my new home. However, along with all that, there was a very tiny question beginning to take root in my mind: “Why wasn’t I born here?”

Why did I have to be born in a country where the main source of heat in the winter was the gas-cooking stove so we had to go to sleep wearing sweaters, mittens, and hats? Why did I have to be born in a country where, to provide milk for their children, mothers had to wait in line outside the grocery store at four o’clock in the morning regardless of the weather, a country where bread, oil, flour, and meat were rationed?

Why did I have to be born in a country where television programs were broadcast for only two hours a day, where it was normal to be stuck in the elevator for hours due to the government disconnecting the electricity for economic reasons, where the grocery stores carried bananas, oranges and raisins only at Christmas? Why wasn’t I born here instead, and able to have the abundance Canada offered?

Why did I have to be born in a communist country and be restricted and fearful as a child, having to monitor my words very carefully because my parents could be put in jail or even go “missing” if I misspoke? Why wasn’t I born here instead and able to feel the freedom of not being afraid?
Why did I have to be born in a country where for years, the songs we had sung as children were imposed upon us? Why wasn’t I born in Canada and able to blossom as a singer in the way I believed I could? Instead, I found myself here as an adult, feeling fearful about the direction I wanted to take, not even knowing the language, looking to take the subway train from “Subway,” the sandwich place, and feeling so silly about it later…

Without realizing it, I slowly started to resent not only where I had come from, but also where I was in the present. My determination to pursue my career in Canada was always very strong— the thought of succeeding was what actually kept me going— but at the same time I felt overwhelmed by the length of the process. It felt as if I had been born all over again, only this time already grown-up and having to bury deep inside almost everything I’d ever known, while trying to find a way to adjust to something that felt very much alien. And even though in the back of my mind I always knew that the scenarios of both my past and my present were not the most unfortunate conditions that exist on this planet, I was still hanging on to the question, “Why?”
Little did I know that by trying to find the answer to that question I was fighting a futile battle, keeping myself prisoner in a bubble of illusion- the illusion that I was not in charge of my own life. And by doing so, I could never find the answer to a yet deeper question, the answer that would give me the peace I was actually looking for: “Why do things happen a certain way?”

I don’t have all the answers, and I love the fact that I don’t, simply because exploring life one step at a time is beautiful. One thing I’m sure of, however, is that my words and music are rooted in the perspective that I hold due to living my life’s experiences, and that I know to be my truth. This is what my words and music are about. They are about the moment I let myself peek through my own little box and dared to be open to new possibilities. They are about the moment I felt as if a window had just opened and the freshest smell of crisp morning air touched my face and quickly filled my whole body with boundless freedom… After years of being stuck in the vicious circle of thinking that my life wasn’t going anywhere it finally occurred to me: does it really matter where we are at the moment of birth? Does it really matter where we are at any point in our life?

Leaving the judgment behind, I finally realized how my life up until that point had nothing to do with the direction my future would take. The past remains the past; it cannot be changed, as hard as it may be to accept this, but what I can change is the direction my life is going. And I can do that by using one of the most valuable tools available to me at any moment in time: the freedom of choosing my own perspective.

The perspective we choose is what contributes to creating our moods and our emotional responses which in turn energize our experiences, carving out what we call our destiny with undeniable precision. I can choose to have a negative perspective and fall into the trap of feeling like a victim, kneeling with my arms raised up to the sky, asking eternally “Why?” Or I can choose to change how I am viewing the present; acknowledge the blessing of simply being born. Being born, therefore having the opportunity to feel empowered by my own desire, while holding on to the knowing that it’s up to me to make it true.

Looking back at the conditions in my native country while holding no judgment, gives me now an incredible feeling of liberation. The conditions of life were harsh indeed, but that’s all we knew. We had no model by which to compare them, since we didn’t have access to the world outside our borders. So at the time, the situation didn’t feel as negative as it felt when I was able to compare it with Canada, one of the best countries in the world!

Even though our leader was keeping himself occupied with creating and applying more restrictions, we still shared love with our family and friends, found reasons to laugh and enjoy each other’s company; we still had beautiful bedtime stories and sang lullabies to our children. There was nothing that could make us lose sight of our inner freedom, nothing that could make us lose our hope. I remember when I was a child, there was absolutely no way anybody could pull me out of my imaginary world where every single moment was sparkling with desire and sweet anticipation of a beautiful future; my imaginary world where anything was possible.
Then I looked back upon the journey I had undertaken from the moment I made Canada my new home, and even though nothing is ever really wrong with anything, I wished that I hadn’t let myself feel so much negative emotion. I wished that I hadn’t allowed myself to be caught up in what I believed was my reality and react in ways that had actually brought upon me even more negative emotions…

Immigrating is not easy for anybody; the challenges are tangible and can be painful, especially if you are leaving a career behind, moving to a country where you don’t know the language, and having to go to school in order to get a job. However, it’s a process that gave me the opportunity to explore life in a much different way. It helped me realize the power in the simplicity of making a clear choice: the choice between moving along with the process or resist it; the choice between living with peace or living with pain and resentment…

I chose to feel better. I chose to look at challenges with appreciation and accept the idea that immigrating to such a beautiful country was equal to having a second chance at life. I chose to recognize the huge potential of being able to use the resources this beautiful country has to offer as an opportunity to become much stronger and much more than I had ever been before.

Changing my perspective was one of the most fulfilling and rewarding feelings I’d ever had up until that point. Looking at my past and my present through different eyes, forgiving everything and everybody that I thought were responsible for my struggles, helped me find the peace of mind I so needed in order to be able to look forward with courage and anticipation.

Once I let go of the weight of the judgment, my mind became clearer. And as I was learning about the power of thought, the power of intention and visualization, I realized something that stopped me in my tracks and put a smile of astonishment on my face… I remembered the very desire I had as a child, the beautiful future I kept living in my mind every single night as I was going to sleep, year after year. It was that strong, innocent desire that had paved the path for moving to a country that provided all the resources necessary to fulfill my dream. It took me thirteen years to realize that what I was resenting was my opportunity to fulfill my dream. It took me thirteen years to realize that what I was resenting was my process of becoming.

I would have never known what deep passion and true appreciation really felt like if it weren’t for the times I had to give up the only thing that defined me. I’ve learned that music is truly my identity, and that life lived without following my passion is a life filled with unanswered questions. But mostly, I’ve learned that we all are pure spirit, joyful, perfect beings. Therefore, we all have the ability to get in touch with our divine Self and, while living life from that standpoint, inspire others to have the courage to reach for their own dreams.

I am not going to stay here and tell you “anything is possible,” but what I am going to tell you is this: never give up on yourself. No matter where you are on this planet, no matter the conditions around you, it can always get better if you choose it to be better. It can always get better if you choose to adopt a positive perspective and appreciate everything that makes up your moment of now. It can always get better if you choose to hold on to the thought of future accomplishments instead of the thought of not wanting to be where you are. It can always get better if you focus on the clear picture of what you want to achieve and stay strong in your decision to do what makes you feel good. It can always get better if you stay loyal to the truth inside, if you follow your heart. Only then are limiting boundaries and man-made rules broken; only then does “anything is possible” become more than just words, as you will feel their meaning and naturally live it.

Don’t question your ability to reach heights you’ve never even imagined, and certainly don’t let the question “How am I going to do it?” shadow your desire. The most beautiful, most rewarding part of listening to your heart is that you need not worry about how it will happen. You need not worry about the steps you must take toward materializing your desire. The Universe will send everything you need in order for you to accomplish what you came here to do. The right circumstances, the right people, the right words will undoubtedly make their way toward you if you trust the process and look for the beauty and the majestic purpose in everything. I know that, now…

OTHER BLOGSwww.BreathingSpaces.net

For Those With Ears to Hear, Let Them Hear It

I offer this video as an expression of the creative soul that is in all of us.  I know nothing more at this writing of Angelica, but will certainly explore more of her work.  It is within each of us that we hold amazing gifts to bring clearly, and without holding back, into this world –  especially as women.  Perhaps in my recent reading of The Book of Love by Kathleen McGowan, my perception is colored – but deeply and truthfully so.  Stories, no matter whether they resonate with our present knowing or not, can bring shifts in thinking, shake us up, delight us, or reaffirm our own Truth.   They always have the potential to open our hearts. “For those with ears to hear, let them hear it”.

It is in “coming as we are” in all of our glory, power and wildness that the masculine principles shift, joining us with their gifts.  Watching this video with tears streaming down my face at the beauty, grace, and expansiveness of Angelica’s singing I watched the men behind her.  It is LOVE and our soul’s creative expression that will light the lives of others that may be struggling in this moment.  How could anyone not feel the heart of what she is bringing?  How can anyone not have a smile break across their face?  How can anyone check their watch during this offering, instead of being enraptured with what is right before them in this moment?

What is your part in all of this?

Gaye Abbott

OTHER BLOGSwww.BreathingSpaces.net

Pivotal Points – You Are THE Creator

I learn and love in the liquid flow of life standing in my strength and in my weakness, shining with the light of ten thousand moons over water…I flow with the lightness of the emancipated soul”. Marilyn Patterson from Wrapped in Sunrise

Breath coming in gasps, yet expanding to power you along the “straight up” hillside.  Instead of being weakened or drained by the climb you are strengthened and filled with more life energy.  Why?  You have decided that it is so as you show up as you are in the moment…. YOU are the creator of your experience.

At a brief pause about half way up you see a blackberry bush just loaded with the largest, juiciest blackberries that you have every seen!  But…that bush… although a short distance away, is surrounded by tall grasses and potentially prickly things which you must traverse before sampling the sweetness.  Who knows what is lurking in the hidden depths??  You have a choice – chart new territory and take the risk, or walk on by perhaps regretting that you did not go the distance.  Both are possible actions that you can take.

At the top you reflect on a journey from the past navigating the Na Pali coast on the Hawaiian island of Kauai many years ago.  One day into the 11 mile one way hike terror reigns supreme in your mind and transfers to your body the night before crossing a particularly treacherous piece of the trail.  The full day’s hike had seen you in the back following everyone else, negotiating streams where, we were told, people had been washed away to the sea….and using every muscle, some of which you didn’t know you had.

Once at the evening camp site while reviewing the next days trail ahead,  the inner voices ask, “would they really miss me if I didn’t go ahead with them in the morning?”  Do you turn back…or do you, the next morning, get an early start and start hiking before the others so that you are first and they follow?

Well, here is the truth telling, as this was my journey today…..and several years ago.  I passed by the blackberry bush… satiated by the luscious berries that I had already amply and easily sampled on my way up.  Sometimes we take the challenge and learn new skills and gain awareness (or taste the sweetness in this case!), and other times we take our attention back to what is right in front or inside of us – resting easily in the flow of receiving.

On the 11 mile one way to Kalalau via the old Hawaiian trial along the breath taking beauty of the Na Pali coast on the island of Kaua’i…. I did go ahead of everyone else that morning turning a 90 degree corner on a very narrow trail with sheer drop off to the cliffs and ocean below on my right, a fierce wind blowing, carrying a heavy backpack, with nothing to hang on to but trust in my ability to breathe one breath, and take one step…. at a time.

The destination reached – Kalalau – with prawns in the streams, fruit on the trees, a waterfall for a shower, nightly sunsets painted by the Divine, a Hawaiian mythology story teller for late night entertainment, an astronomer to show us the magic of the night skies where stars and planets covered every inch of sky, a chiropractor to soothe our misaligned and sore bodies, and even a composting toilet!   We came together from varying parts of the world ,separately along the trial, to convene at pivotal points in our lives.

Are you at a crossroads in your life?  You are the Creator.  There are a multitude of choices…trust your intuitive creation!

Gaye Abbott – Catalyst, Guide & Creative Mentor

OTHER BLOGS BY GAYEwww.BreathingSpaces.net

Come As You Are – An Invitation to the “Artist” In Each of Us

AWAKENING by Fran Bouwman (Please watch her video at www.franbouwman.com)

All right – I just arrived home from sharing breakfast with an amazingly creative, beautiful, naturally funny, and wise woman of 68 years.   Threw on my long gauzy skirt and a deep red silky camisole – my writing clothes for the day I have decided – and plunked a piece of rich dark chocolate in my mouth.  What could be better!

I am dedicating this post to you Sue, for you have inspired me to make an offer to my 50+ age women readers out there (or under if you find your way to this blog site!).   I dare you (and you first Sue!) to take me up on this!  Listening to Julia Cameron’s Walking in This World, the Practical Art of Creativity, read by a most wonderful reader, on my way home in the car…and reflecting on the conversations that Sue and I had this morning, I realized that WildlyFreeWoman has always been about supporting, encouraging, guiding, and at times giving a gentle kick in the butt, to women to bring their creative wild soul out into the physical world – NOW!  

It is not always clear how a woman can do that with all of the other pulls on her time and attention – but from 50 on we have a new perspective, tons of life experience, more “our time” than we have ever had, and the opportunity to say YES! to our unique and individual expression – whatever that is.  For me right in this moment it is sitting down at my Mac computer, or putting my favorite fountain pen in my hand, and waiting for the creator’s juice to move through me into my hands and on this page.

As Sue wove her story at the breakfast table of her recent visit to the Trappist monastery, I had very upturned mouth and tears of laughter rolling down my face.  I was able to see and feel her sitting there in the chapel attempting to connect with “the Divine” as an ancient monk shuffled his way (she knew which one it was by his walk) down the aisle and sat near to her, stamping his walking stick and making snuffling noises as he moved his dentures around in his mouth.  What a disturbance she thought to herself…and on the story goes to reveal some wise and profound observations – and great humor directed at our humanness.

I invite Sue to finish this story and have me put it here on the blog.  The worst that could happen is that no one will read it …the best that can happen is that no one will read it – but Sue would have put something out there for public viewing and said YES to her creative expression.  You can’t lose Sue!

That goes for everyone else out there that is sitting on a creative expression – or is just tentatively beginning to get nearer to “putting it out there”.  Allow this to be the sacred container which births IT and YOU out into the world.  Julia Cameron says, “Doubt is a signal of the creative process.  It is a signal that you are doing something right…. Creativity is a spiritual issue.  Although we seldom look at this squarely the creative life features the same spiritual obstacles as any other spiritual path.” Doubt can then lead to the courage to go ahead and put it out there anyway,  no matter what…and yes it is a leap…and yes it is way worth it.  (Besides I have the power to monitor any comments that are made public on this blog….so again, you can’t lose…)

There are women (and men!) out there that need our stories, our art, our creative expression and example to take them one more step further along in their inside journey to letting loose and breaking free of the restrictions that may keep us bound up like a tightly closed bud that is doomed never to flower, or open at all.  The way I see it WE need US to do it!

So…here is the deal!  Write to me about your art, creative activity, or projects; give me a website;  or send me some samples if that is appropriate.   Allow WildlyFreeWoman to be your creative muse and the readers of this blog to be your adoring supporters.  We each have a unique expression to bring…and we each are a incredibly important part of the whole web of creative interconnection globally.  The creation is not complete without our unique and individual expression.

As Marilyn Patterson in South Africa wrote to me when sending her brand new book, “Wrapped in Sunrise”  in the mail – let yourself be “the kind of person that inspires others towards a greater more heart felt life expression”.  Bring it on and let’s play!

Gaye Abbott
A WildlyFreeWoman

SUE RESPONDS WITHIN HOURS!! Here is her courageous launching and she promises me that a picture will be forth coming.  WFW will be sending an official “Courageously Creative” certificate to each woman that brings her expression to this blog site!
To a Very Special Wildly Free Woman and Dear Friend,

I feel as if I am being Published..me head is swelling.   Several times, I have had the exquisite experience of spending even a small amount of time observing these men in robes, who we define as Monks. Are they freaks of nature, recluse on the run from life, or do they actually contribute to the world in which we live?  The answer for me is a resounding, Yes they do, in ways we will never know.  I learned this from My Very Dearest Friend, Thomas Merton, Trappist Monk, who left this unruly world, far too young. So now, I have told you the name of My Mentor.  Now you must know my Funny Personality, so to speak, is derived from an Irish Family Background and as far back as I can remember the Exquisite need to laugh and give laughter to others.

Going to the Monastery/Abby is a place where you will actually see smiles on peoples faces.  Silence evokes quiet thought, which in turn, gives us all periods of thought you had forgotten and which later appear very funny, when measured against the Seriousness of Life.

A few weeks ago, I had again decided to drive up to Lafayette, just a little north of McMinnville, Oregon for a quiet time in their garden and some meditation regarding making a decision on a special matter. While there, I left the chapel and proceeded outside to the gardens and passed the private graveyard in their enclose.  Mother of God I thought, imagine sleeping next to all those dead people. Anyway, a quiet little monk came up next to me and asked, “would you like to share lunch with the brothers? “  I of course said yes.  Good chance some of them would be cute..know what I mean.  Anyway, we proceeded to the QUIET hall where they were all seated in SILENCE. I proceeded to go over to the table and serve myself, then proceeded to sit down and eat. I kept looking out over the tops of my glasses to see, as a lay person, what they looked like and were all about. After about 35 minutes I stood up and proceeded to leave, but not without saying,
” Thank you for the delicious lunch”.  With that one of them turned to me with his finger over his lips as if to say, faux pas..then out of the corner of my eye, I observed a little old monk quietly giggling at the end of the table. Sue I said…Sweet Victory!!!!!!!!

Hopefully, as he lay on his straw mattress that night, he had wonderful dreams.  Sue you Devil.

I have many such stories to give forth to those who would find them enjoyable as well as funny. At the time they happened in my life, they did not really have that much significance. In my looking back now, they were really funny and I will from time to time give forth some of these wonderful times of my life.  However, as I proceeded to say to my friend Gaye,  ” I cannot imagine anyone finding my stories and the Paths my life has taken as interesting.  The Glory of having Intelligent/Passionate about life friends, is how they are able to observe qualities you never saw in yourself, and they, if they are true friends, are quick to remind you, ” your talents MUST be shared by the many, in hopes they too can rise above it all.

Sue O’

Tag Cloud