Relationships and Money
I have never done this before, but because I feel it is vitally important that women are empowered in all aspects of their being I am posting here on WildlyFreeWoman the same blog post that I just published on Natural Wealth Journal.
It is women in partnership with conscious men that are at the heart of the evolutionary global shift we are currently in the midst of. Let’s clear the way for our clarity of purpose and whole hearted expression to shine forth!
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Nogie King in The Currency of Connection states beautifully:
“I believe that we sit at the edge of an evolutionary impulse that can move human kind into a radical and collective realignment with wholeness, purpose and grace. Life has always been an extraordinary process for creative potential. What is different now is our growing ability to perceive and then actualize engagement that is our natural birthright.”
With curiosity I invite you to enter the world of money as a vibrant, loving relationship just waiting to connect us to not only our own potential, but also to the creative genius of just about everything on this planet of ours. If you are like me, you most probably have had, or are still having, a rocky relationship with money. Not your idea of the ideal loving, respectful, and trusting relationship that we all yearn for I bet!
What has helped me tremendously over the past few weeks after quitting a job that I allowed to rob me of creative juice and flow, is to remember that money in and of itself first came into being with the purpose of fostering and celebrating human relationships. It has now become something else for many people – something that adds stress to daily life – perhaps unnecessary stress at that.
Looking at money through the lens of relationship can be a fascinating journey and can provide insights that just may surprise you! Relationship with yourself, with others, with our planet, and with money itself most probably deeply embedded in scarcity and lack in some form or another.
I am reminded of the days growing up that we used to play Monopoly. Loved handling all that play money and buying the prime properties while hoping that one of the other players would land on my high density housing prime space and have to hand over more money for rent!
We needed to be in relationship in that game. Face to face, throwing the dice to see what would happen next in our relationship with each other and our money. Out of necessity it would often go on for hours as money changed hands back and forth.
Life lessons were tucked in there as well like landing in jail and hoping for a “Get Out of Jail Free” card to release you back into the game and back into relationship with the other players.
Well have you ever thought that we put ourselves in jail and restrict the easy flow of money and vibrant alive relationship in our lives because of deeply engrained patterns that were put down early in our tender lives for what we thought was survival?
Here is a part of my story to make this more personal and to highlight the fact that how we use money is an opportunity for our own spiritual awakening and an expression of our fundamental interconnectedness.
I was either in a state of worry and fear around where the next dollar was coming from, or when I did
have money it rather slipped away from me. I was always trying to find ways to get more back into my bank account. This went on for many years even through times when I had plenty of money to support myself and my growing children.
At the same time I was creating relationships with men in much the same way. Two marriages, another long term partner, and quite a number of other relationships later I finally found myself taking a look at both my relationship with money and with men. Bet you won’t be surprised that there were some underlying beliefs that were interwoven in both relationships.
When my mother died suddenly at the early age of 39 when I was only 14 years old I of course felt abandoned by someone that I really needed at that time in my life. The connection had been broken and I took it on as something that I must have done. My underlying belief at this time was that I must not be worthy which was unconsciously supported by my father who went into a deep depression leaving me to take on the responsibility of my younger brother and the household. In a way he had abandoned me by not honoring that I had needs too.
What did I do? I created a belief system and pattern that lasted until just recently. Work hard (read struggle here) to take care of others to make certain you are appreciated and loved, i.e worthy; push down your own needs, desires and passion (stay hidden); create relationships with people and money where “rescue” is needed (so that I could prove I was loved); and not only attract unavailable men, but leave relationships first before they can leave you.
Can you draw a parallel between these patterns and my relationship with money? Essentially not feeling worthy in my own essential self (money slipping through my hands and creating “rescue” scenarios), taking on others desires and passions as my own (struggling to bring money in through others businesses/visions that were not in alignment with my whole hearted creative expression ), and setting up the abandonment before I can be abandoned (I am not worthy).
I think you get the picture here. We are in a very powerful time on our planet right now where each one of us has the opportunity to repattern into “wholeness, purpose and grace” in a way that honors our own highest potential as well as that of every other life form on this planet. If we don’t do this our species has the potential to disappear!
This time is about creatively connecting and collaborating within the deep interconnection that sustains all of us – every single life form on this planet. It is called Unity – the yoga of life. In order to open to this way of being each one of us must take the inner journey of clearing anything in the way of truly being ourselves in the world.
Since money is a large part of our life, and always will be present in some way, why not create a trusting, flowing, sufficient, honest and loving relationship with it. It really does want to love you back and is the currency of connection!!
SOME SUGGESTED BOOKS:
The Currency of Connection: How to Create An Exquisitely Kick Ass Relationship With Money by Nogie King
The Trance of Scarcity: Hey! Stop Holding Your Breath and Start Living Your Life! by Victoria Castle
The Soul of Money: Reclaiming The Wealth of Our Inner Resources by Lynn Twist
The Prosperous Heart, by Julia Cameron
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