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Archive for the ‘Acceptance’ Category

The Dark Night of the Soul

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Taken by GreenMackenzie@BreathofGreenAir – Scotland

It may seem strange to have such an incredibly beautiful image to grace a post that has this title.  However I am finding that when one drops down (or is taken down) into the depth of darkness that at times must be surrendered to there is, on what seems like the other side, the lightness of being and beauty beckoning us back home again.

I know many people right at this particular time that are moving through what is called “a dark night of the soul”.  A place where old patterns and beliefs must be laid at the feet of who we have been – who we think that we are – perhaps leaving us without direction,  facing the fears that have kept us stuck, and not certain at all about what is emerging.

Some may define this place of intense feeling to be where the slate is wiped clean of any ways of past coping with life challenges.  A new way of seeing your life and the relationships within it may emerge and ask you to make choices that don’t seem to have a firm foundation underneath them, but instead demand a risk taking that leaves you rather dizzy and disoriented.  For women this is unsettling at best as aren’t we the caretakers of the world?!

600201_430092240364176_819329056_nAs I dwell in this place of darkness I feel the womb of the Earth holding me – a place where you can let it all out and not pretend anymore that you are OK; a place that won’t let you escape until you clearly see what has trapped you in endless patterns of repetition up to this exact moment; a place of deep feeling and embodiment that demands of you no less than recognizing your innate inner value and brilliance.

How many of you are being invited into this place of darkness and great healing?  You are not alone.  It is a necessary journey that so many of us are taking so that we may arise cleansed and available for the work that has been given to us since the first breath that we took.

For me the last two months have held great darkness and great light.  The two seem to be married in such a way that one never presents without the other to balance it.  This synergistic mating has taken me into walking out on a “secure” job that was not in alignment with the “me” that was asking to create in the world; losing a very dear friend abruptly and feeling abandoned and wanting to “fix” the situation; beginning a new relationship with a man that had chosen a path that was not mine; and losing the income that I had depended on to support me.

In the fertile wake of each of these challenges came finding that my value rested inside of me and realizing that no person or anything else could define that; acknowledging that my friend was having a “dark night of the soul” herself and needed her healing time in the Earth womb without me, with old patterns of abandonment and wanting to fix everything having to be examined and brought into the light; coming to a deep understanding and recognition of what I want, need and deserve in relationship with a man and saying yes to that and letting go of the “unavailable” pattern that had perpetuated for so long with a deep look at my own unavailability and why; and finally acquiring support and doing the work necessary to have a completely different relationship with money.

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A Light From The Darkness by teh-artish

Deeply feeling into these places of dark and light evolve us from victim to awareness; from terror and panic to faith, trust and expectation;  from numbness and stagnation into embodiment and a glimpse of recognition into who we are in our fullest expression.  Like everything in life this constantly changes – the darkness and light interchanging with each other under the direction of something much larger than we are…..love.

Are you also taking such a journey?  You are not alone….

 Books Worth Reading Now:

The Global Heart Awakens: Humanity’s Rite of Passage from the Love of Power to the Power of Love by Anodea Judith, Ph.D.

The Currency of Connection: How to Create an Exquisitely Kick-Ass Relationship with Money by Nogie King

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941546_10201139084457154_1085573193_nNEW WEBSITE: GayeAbbott.com

NEW FB PAGE: Common Voice – Expressing the Global Awakening Heart

OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:
www.BreathingSpaces.net
www.NaturalWealthJournal.com

Give Us This Day Our Daily Breath Preview, Reviews and purchase links can be found here:Breath-Book-coverW2(3)
http://resonancewithlife.com/daily-breath-book/

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If Not Now, When?

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For a long time now the title of this post had a certain meaning to me.  Don’t hesitate.  Seize the moment.  Take action on what you have been secretly yearning for so long now.  Life is very short and if not lived in the moment it seems even shorter.  What do I really want to do with the time left to me?

All of this still holds true,  but recently I have discovered that is just the surface of what happens when you pose this question to yourself and action is taken.  Perhaps this question arises from a place deep inside when a pattern that has run your life is asking to be dissolved.  Perhaps it is time to free yourself.

Imagine a young girl of 14 who has just lost her mother very suddenly.  Her father is devastated by her death and goes into a place of depression leaving this young girl to take care of her brother who is 4 years younger, the household, and continue to do the dance of Junior High School, all without any grief counseling or emotional support.  Consider what pattern this must have created.

Each of us has a story, a set of life circumstances that laid down a pattern(s) from which we have lived our lives in order to survive, belong and feel loved and seen.  Many of us have deeply buried the sense of wholeness of who we are, and instead have lived life through the filter of this pattern.  Then we are presented with “If not now, when?

In my case, and yes I was that young girl of 14, I learned to make others needs a priority making certain everyone was taken care of before my own needs so that I might feel  love, appreciation, importance, and a sense of safety in my world.  Over and over I played the part of selfless martyr to my patterns demand – until I woke up.

tumblr_lzgrgwYrO01qa8xm1o1_500Life usually hands us circumstances in which we can pick apart our patterns a bit at a time.  Then perhaps comes a more expansive awakening when all the threads that have held it together can no longer stay entangled.  An awakening where we cannot blame outside circumstances or others for the traumatic or toxic places/relationships we have placed ourselves in, or give excuses for not being all that we were meant to be – but instead take responsibility for freeing ourselves from the patterns that have run our lives.

It is not comfortable to be so honest with yourself and  bring the pattern out of the dark closet so that it can be seen – but it is indeed our job to simply do the work sacredly and silently into our own new awareness.  Our life then has the potential to change and open to allow a connection to the wholeness of who we are….and those with “eyes to see and ears to hear” will respond.

No dragging kicking and screaming necessary…..

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941546_10201139084457154_1085573193_nOTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:

www.BreathingSpaces.net
www.NaturalWealthJournal.com

Website www.ResonanceWithLife.com

Give Us This Day Our Daily Breath Preview, Reviews and purchase links can be found here:Breath-Book-coverW2(3)
http://resonancewithlife.com/daily-breath-book/

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The Yearning

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Enough. These few words are enough. If not these words, this breath. If not this breath, this sitting here. This opening to the life we have refused again and again until now. Until now.David Whyte

Today I sat with two beautiful women friends and we leaped from one deep discussion to the next often with laughter and humility.  What kept breaking through every topic, whether it was about profession, creativity, men or patterns that seemed to have kept us stuck….was that deep yearning which we jointly decided every human on this planet has within.

The seemingly elusive “missing” piece to the puzzle that makes up our life.  Is it love, the Divine, the person or child that we wish to shower our love on and have it returned, being at the peak of our profession, or any number of things that we are chasing after.  Kahlil Gibran says, “And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course”. 

Is it not enough that we open to the life that we have this very moment and find within that moment a glimmer of the missing piece that will “complete us”.  In the very act of chasing after this piece we miss that it is always right here – beyond the “refusing” to open, the refusing that this may be the only breath that we will ever take, the refusing to deeply understand that only in this moment are we complete and that there is nothing else beyond it.

I, like you, have been caught up in this eternal chase powered by the deep yearning that resides within, something seemingly deliciously greater than life in the moment.   The inability to accept that this single moment is not, as our mind would tell us, lacking in anything at all.

Can we ever know for certain what will reveal itself in the next inhale and exhale?  We confront….and then we must surrender.  We create….. and then we must rest within that creation.

Simply opening to the life that has been refused again and again…..there rests the missing piece called yearning.  Coming home over and over and over…..

Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”Lao Tzu

A meditation in yearning, beauty, sensuality, and creativity…..

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941546_10201139084457154_1085573193_nOTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:

www.BreathingSpaces.net
www.NaturalWealthJournal.com

Give Us This Day Our Daily Breath Preview, Reviews and purchase links can be found here:
http://resonancewithlife.com/daily-breath-book/

You Are More Beautiful Than You Think

How does the title of this blog post make you feel?  What are the feelings that arise when you consider your own beauty?

As women we are so often self critical about many things in our appearance.  If it isn’t the media or our culture that is demanding we look a certain way in order to be loved, get the job, get the man, or even get the attention….it is our own inability to accept the features and bodies that we have been given.

Beauty is considered in so many different ways by people all over the world.  But isn’t real beauty that which shines through the features? The features that are a pathway to all of the experiences that have made up this one precious life!  The soul of who we are!380354_10150709043892185_280837062184_8265230_1562739305_n

It is the deepest parts of our being that shine forth if we but allow the open and whole expression of who we really are.  Accepting the natural beauty that resides within and reflects on the outside – even the wrinkles, lines and flaws – encourages us as women to express fully without holding back anything!

Can we really be open to how others see us and realize that we are much more beautiful than we think?  Watch this short video and reflect.  Perhaps it will lead you to come out of hiding…

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OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:WFW logo

www.BreathingSpaces.net
www.NaturalWealthJournal.com

JOINT WEBSITE:

www.ResonanceWithLife.com

Breath-Book-coverW2(3)Give Us This Day Our Daily Breath Preview, Reviews and purchase links can be found here:
http://resonancewithlife.com/daily-breath-book/

Realize Your Own Magnificence

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Many, many years ago now when I was a Neurosurgical Assistant and Neuroaugmentation Technician in Southern California I was privileged to go to a Conference on Laughter and Play on the Queen Mary docked in Long Beach.  We actually spent two entire days learning about all the ways that one can bring laughter and play into daily life moments.

I attended such events as learning to juggle with marshmellows, how to tell jokes, watching comedy in action on the stage and discovering how improv is created from within…..to the other end of the spectrum – a class on laughter in the death and dying process.  At one point I remember asking a man sitting next to me at the end of a simply hilarious comedy routine what he was writing about so seriously in his notebook.  He proceeded to tell me that he was a comedian and was taking notes on timing, jokes, etc.  Wow!  A seriously committed comedian.

I remember clearly how shifted I felt after bathing in laughter and play for two solid days.  Once I returned to my job at Scripps Clinic in San Diego, back in “real life” so to speak,  I was broadsided by the observation of the seriousness of everyone around me!   I placed joke books in my exam rooms for patients to bring some lightness into their visit, and found that they disappeared pretty quickly.  To this day I hope that it was patients taking off with them to lend some laughter medicine in dealing with a diagnosis of a brain tumor.

My point here is that we do take life way too seriously and our culture seems addicted to drama fed veraciously by our FEARS!  The fact that we are amazing and magnificent human beings housed in these beautiful (but very small compared to who we are) bodies seems often to take a back seat to our current fears or feelings of being less than.

Below you will find a video which I encourage you to watch in its entirety.  It is an interview with Anita Moorjani  who has written the book “Dying To Be Me”.  This is not only a story of a woman who discovers she has cancer and comes to death and back again….but a “resurrection” story of sorts as she recommits to a life lived fearlessly,  making choices from what brings her joy – and supported from a vast awareness of the magnificent, amazing and loving beings we truly are.

Remember who you are….live that…and watch your life and that of others around you shift and change.

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OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:
Give Us This Day Our Daily Breath Preview, Reviews and purchase links can be found here:Breath-Book-coverW2(3)
http://resonancewithlife.com/daily-breath-book/

From A Place of Value

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Here we are at the turning of another year once again.  If we are not mindful of the importance of living this next year within the precious moments given to us, then we may feel as many do today.  A sense that “time” is moving too fast and that our own life is winding down much too quickly for all that we would like to experience and create.

Do we look back at what we did not accomplish?  Berate ourselves for not losing that 10 pounds, not asking for a raise, or even not loving enough?  Or, do we applaud the moments that had meaning and purpose during the year.

Each New Year’s Eve for me is spent in the ritual of silence with all electronic devices turned off and candles lit.  Reflection over this past year and what I am grateful for is a large part of this year end meditation. In fact I have started what Dewitt Jones and Lynette Sheppard call the “Ta Da” list.  This is a list, a remembrance if you will, of accomplishments, travels, completed goals, insights, new knowledge and self realizations from the year that is just passing.

From this place comes the cracking open to allow a focus for the New Year to seep into consciousness….one word that represents the place from which inner and outer actions will be taken that will expand awareness and support every action and goal.  From this focus will come intentions for the New Year.

Many women, myself included, have taken a stand for empowerment for women.  This past year I have found that I have often felt empowered, but the deep place from which this feeling is birthed from is not always present.  The statement in the picture above is filled with the promise and inspiration of stepping forward into our dreams and making them happen in 2013 and beyond.  Yet, for me there is somewhere else that these actions, and yes even the dreams, must be birthed from.

This was very evident as I wrote a proposal last evening for a salary in the job that I am presently doing.  Although having done the research on what others were making in my area for this particular position and writing up a job description, I found myself thinking of what this start up business may be able to afford….instead of aligning with my inherent value and worth in all that I am doing and the impact that my very presence has on this growing business.

Thankfully a dear friend assisted me to “see the light” and stay in line with the original salary number I had come up with.  I have to admit that I felt the uncomfortableness of staying present to who I am and the value I have to bring as I am so used to putting the emphasis on “other” than myself.

This place of self value rests within the deep purpose of our life here this time around.  It is in every word, action, relationship, job we undertake, environment that we surround our self with, food we put in our mouth, our deepest self care.  As women I believe we are still learning about this, for our lives are often taken up with the deep self care of others and their needs.  Can we give to ourselves that which we give to others?

480820_397075940357324_1246155590_nIt is not selfish to have a deep sense of value about ourselves.  It is instead the only place from which to live  life.  I am not talking here about what we have done to bring value, but more of the intrinsic beauty and sacredness of our very being.  The openness, curiosity, honesty, beauty, creativity, integrity and loving presence from which we live our lives.  And yes, even the fears, the mistakes, the challenges, the darkness and the pain which weave through each life.  Even there….. finding value within and resting there.

Take this new fresh year and begin it with Ta Da…here I am world! …..and live this wild, sacred and passionate life from the value that is your innate being…

P.S.  It is not too late to make your “Ta Da” list whenever you read this post!

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WEBSITEwww.ResonanceWithLife.com

OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:

www.BreathingSpaces.net
www.NaturalWealthJournal.com

Breath-Book-coverW2(3)Give Us This Day Our Daily Breath Preview, Reviews and purchase links can be found here:
http://resonancewithlife.com/daily-breath-book/

Celebrating Natural Beauty

This last Friday I was privileged to watch “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel”.   There are many reasons why I found this film delightful, but one of them was that these older actors and actresses were not changed to look younger than their years.  Instead there were lines on faces and bodies that showed age and a life lived.  Each person was a character study in where life had taken them up until the moment that they all found themselves together at the Magnolia Hotel….and by the end of the movie each person had come full circle into acceptance of who they were whether it was by death or by taking a good hard in the face look at life and what they wanted now.

The video below shows Cheryl -Ann Webster and what she is doing to open women and men’s minds to the acceptance of themselves just as they are.  Her Beautiful Women project focuses on what is natural and beautiful in this world versus a socially created image which is unattainable for most people.  She has found that 80% of women, when asked, would change several things about their bodies and appearance if they could and 50% of men.  Are you one of those 80%.  I know that I have been. Cheryl-Ann reminds us that body image is NOT black and white.

Aging, if done gracefully, brings us the wisdom to accept the changes that are inevitable.  It is almost a relief not to feel compelled to mold ourselves into a socially acceptable rendition of what society feels we should look and be like.  The characters in the Marigold Hotel movie are simply being themselves and at times struggling with the fact that they have aged.  Yet in the end, there is a celebration of the natural beauty and wisdom that has been seasoned over the years, and a deeper self acceptance and knowing.

When is it time to accept our bodies and our own natural beauty?  How about now….

WEBSITEwww.ResonanceWithLife.com

OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:

www.BreathingSpaces.net
www.NaturalWealthJournal.com

Give Us This Day Our Daily Breath Preview and Reviews can be found here:
http://resonancewithlife.com/daily-breath-book/

I Am A Dangerous Woman

I am a dangerous woman…

Infinitely compassionate and wildly loving.
Softly strong and strongly soft in my ways.
Don’t get too close, you may see dreams come true and wishes appear from thin air.

I am a dangerous woman…….

Able to give unconditional love from an endless well within.
Blindingly bright ~ I will continue to shine until the stars fade from the heavens.
For God’s sake, don’t give me your heart, I might show you what it’s for and how to use it.

I am a dangerous woman……

Capable and real.
Genuine and wise.
Whatever you do, don’t tell me your secrets, I will keep them.

I am a dangerous woman…….

Gently staunch in my defense of family, friends and home.
Crazy in love with my life.
Don’t expose me to your children, I may teach them something of value.

I am a dangerous woman………

Reveling in my sensuality.
Enjoying all the pleasures of being female.
Stay away from me if a lover that is both your equal and your joy is what you seek.

I am all that I am meant to be.
If this means danger then……

I AM a dangerous woman.

Written By:

Mary Costanza – A Woman’s Heart And Soul

Thank you Mary for this inspiring gift as we enter into the New Year of 2012 with our authentic voice, senses, wisdom, creativity, love, compassion, integrity, courage, faith and empathy fully expressing! GA

WEBSITEwww.ResonanceWithLife.com

OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:

www.NaturalWealthJournal.com
www.BreathingSpaces.net

Being Absolutely Truly Yourself – Is Freedom!

Today I watched a video of a talk given by the Dali Lama on women.  What he said in essence is that there is a “lack of human affection” in our world today….and that women are the ones to turn that around.   Our naturally compassionate and feeling nature often lead the way in daily interactions.

This is not to say that men don’t have this as well, but we as women are designed for it.  After a few funny stories the Dali Lama made a statement that would potentially upset 1,000’s of years of a lineage that is based on very defined practices and beliefs.  He said he was open to a female Dali Lama!  Needless to say this would be quite a paradigm shift for many, many people…but what if this did happen??

Following on the heels of this I was re-inspired once again by Caroline Casey who gave a TED talk on how extraordinarily far belief can take a person.  I won’t spoil the story for you, so you will have to devote 15 minutes to it in order to find out what happens.  You won’t be sorry that you did!

I am asking myself right now, “am I pretending to be something that I am not?” or “am I absolutely being truly myself”?   Good question to immerse in!  Enjoy the video and Caroline’s story…she is one of those innately compassionate (self and other) women and just by being fully herself inspires us all!


Caroline Casey on Moving Beyond Our Limits

Activist Caroline Casey tells the story of her extraordinary life, starting with a revelation (no spoilers).   In a talk that challenges perceptions, Casey asks us all to move beyond the limits we may think we have.

WEBSITE www.ResonanceWithLife.com  (New offerings!)

OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:

www.BreathingSpaces.net  (watch the video of me on the Daily Breath page & see Sneak Preview of book to be published in January!)
www.NaturalWealthJournal.com

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For a great Christmas present for those hard to buy for younger teenagers on your list take a look at this.  A great and adventurous read that even you will not be able to put down…with a female heroine!

CLICK HERE

Celebrating Our Natural Beauty

More than 5 years ago now I attended a Global Healing conference in Ubud, Bali, Indonesia.  The keynote speaker was Desmond Tutu (who made himself very available to us!) and there were 800 people attending from all over the world.  It was an incredibly powerful experience that transported me into a global citizen and expanded my awareness about life and my own contributions to the world.

After the conference I had created an additional 10 days to just be on my own and explore the amazing country and people of Bali.  There were many things about this culture and these people that captivated my heart and soul.  One of them was the natural beauty of the people, the country, and the way of life…and I am not talking external beauty only here.  There was an essence that was felt, a light reflection of what is real substance within each living thing….. A sacredness of whole being if you will.

It was here that I was able to find and celebrate my natural beauty,  throw away my self consciousness around how I looked on the outside, and luxuriate in all that is beautiful.  It was here that I fell in love with myself and had it reflected back to me over and over again…and yes, I did find myself in a tub with flower petals floating in the water just as in the picture above!

As I stepped into this new found natural being of beauty others were attracted and I found love shining back at me from every possible source.  The Balinese people know when a person is being authentic, and as I let go of inner constraint I was welcomed into families and villages, held Balinese children, sat with heads of villages to talk about meditation and the finer points of drinking milk straight from the coconut (oh, did I make a mess of things much to their enjoyment!), had intimate dinners with embraces and kisses in the moonlight by a lotus pond with an Australian participant of the conference, and was even invited onto the backs of motor scooters by locals to tour the island.

I found that natural beauty is something each and every one of us as women hold within, and that when we open to the giving and receiving of love with full and authentic expression and acceptance there is a radiance in our being that draws others in.

Below are 2 resources that I feel you will enjoy and appreciate.  Pass this on to women you know and let’s collaborate with each other to accept, express, and celebrate our natural beauty and full potential!

The NEW Beauty
“She said, “Jules, If I didn’t know you, I would hate you.”   This message was delivered to me, 24 years ago, at a critical and tender time in my life.  It reverberated endlessly, from my fragile ego, to the depths of my soul, and back around my hear…t.  This was a painful and difficult message for an approval-seeking young adult, who worked tirelessly to move beyond the “ugly and imperfect” obstacles from childhood adversities.  I replied, “Seriously?  You would HATE me?”   “Yes.  You are beautiful and successful.  You’re perfect!  You have it all.  If I didn’t know you, I would hate you!,” she repeated.  

Sadly, she really did not know me and all my insecurities.  Her words pierced my people-pleasing persona and shattered everything I believed to be true.  Beauty and success epitomized the cultural contract we were “supposed” to fulfill as super-women.  But nobody told me about the part that if, or when, you fulfill the contract, people would hate you. 

This was a bewildering, sick game: be beautiful, successful and hated, or imperfect, ordinary and never measure up.  The pathetic irony in the entire paradigm was I NEVER felt beautiful or successful to begin with and most of us NEVER did.  

In spite of the invasive and prominent media-defined images of beauty, women are waking up.  No longer will we sit by and watch our daughters be put in powerless, anorexic, heroin chic boxes, destined for plastic surgery.  Traditional notions of beauty are being shattered.  Women no longer want to have our appearance prescribed, nor do we believe it defines who we are.  We will not wear a mask that hides our identity and buy the right labels to make us feel worthy and complete. 

We are re-defining beauty and wearing it proudly as it emanates deep from within our true knowing.  As we discover the radiant light of elegance and grace that flows from our core, authentic self-expression is the new glamour.  We are birthing a fresh allure.  Our NEW beauty is raw, organic and deep.  It isn’t something that pleases the eye, but rather an essence that stirs and quickens the soul.  Have you re-defined beauty and embraced your mystique?  

Macduff Everton said, “There is a difference between pretty and beautiful.  Beauty can astonish us. Inspire us.  Make us dance.  Make us weep.  Beauty can be magical.  Beauty can transform us.  Beauty lets our soul sing.  Beauty can have such depth that you don’t even notice at first, or ever.”  Live your beauty!  Let it shine.  BE YOU, beautiful, and help usher in the NEW beauty. ”  Dr. Julie

See More
By: Dr. Julie on Your Beautiful Mindful Life

Take a look at the Beautiful Woman Project by Cheryl-Ann Webster

http://www.cawebster.com/art/bwp/

OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:

www.BreathingSpaces.net
www.NaturalWealthJournal.com

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