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Relationships and Money

I have never done this before, but because I feel it is vitally important that women are empowered in all aspects of their being I am posting here on WildlyFreeWoman the same blog post that I just published on Natural Wealth Journal.

It is women in partnership with conscious men that are at the heart of the evolutionary global shift we are currently in the midst of.  Let’s clear the way for our clarity of purpose and whole hearted expression to shine forth!

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two-hearts-of-money2Nogie King in The Currency of Connection states beautifully:

“I believe that we sit at the edge of an evolutionary impulse that can move human kind into a radical and collective realignment with wholeness, purpose and grace.  Life has always been an extraordinary  process for creative potential.  What is different now is our growing ability to perceive and then actualize engagement that is our natural birthright.”

With curiosity I invite you to enter the world of money as a vibrant, loving relationship just waiting to connect us to not only our own potential, but also to the creative genius of just about everything on this planet of ours.  If you are like me, you most probably have had, or are still having, a rocky relationship with money. Not your idea of the ideal loving, respectful, and trusting relationship that we all yearn for I bet!

What has helped me tremendously over the past few weeks after quitting a job that I allowed to rob me of creative juice and flow, is to remember that money in and of itself first came into being with the purpose of fostering and celebrating human relationships.  It has now become something else for many people – something that adds stress  to daily life – perhaps unnecessary stress at that.

Looking at money through the lens of relationship can be a fascinating journey and can provide insights that just may surprise you!  Relationship with yourself, with others, with our planet, and with money itself most probably deeply embedded in scarcity and lack in some form or another.

I am reminded of the days growing up that we used to play Monopoly.  Loved handling all that play money and buying the primemonopoly-money properties while hoping that one of the other players would land on my high density housing prime space and have to hand over more money for rent!

We needed to be in relationship in that game.  Face to face, throwing the dice to see what would happen next in our relationship with each other and our money.  Out of necessity it would often go on for hours as money  changed hands back and forth.

Life lessons were tucked in there as well like landing in jail and hoping for a “Get Out of Jail Free” card to release you back into the game and back into relationship with the other players.

Well have you ever thought that we put ourselves in jail and restrict the easy flow of money and vibrant alive relationship in our lives because of deeply engrained patterns that were put down early in our tender lives for what we thought was survival?

Here is a part of my story to make this more personal and to highlight the fact that how we use money is an opportunity for our own spiritual awakening and an expression of our fundamental interconnectedness.

counterfeit-money-funnyI was either in a state of worry and fear around where the next dollar was coming from, or when I did man-chasing-money2have money it rather slipped away from me. I was always trying to find ways to get more back into my bank account.  This went on for many years even through times when I had plenty of money to support myself and my growing children.

At the same time I was creating relationships with men in much the same way.  Two marriages, another long term partner, and quite a number of other relationships later I finally found myself taking a look at both my relationship with money and with men.  Bet you won’t be surprised that there were some underlying beliefs that were interwoven in both relationships.

When my mother died suddenly at the early age of 39 when I was only 14 years old I of course felt abandoned by someone that I really needed at that time in my life.  The connection had been broken and I took it on as something that I must have done.  My underlying belief at this time was that I must not be worthy which was unconsciously supported by my father who went into a deep depression leaving me to take on the responsibility of my younger brother and the household.  In a way he had abandoned me by not honoring that I had needs too.

What did I do?  I created a belief system and pattern that lasted until just recently.  Work hard (read struggle here) to take care of others to make certain you are appreciated and loved, i.e worthy; push down your own needs, desires and passion (stay hidden); create relationships with people and money where “rescue” is needed (so that I could prove I was loved); and not only attract unavailable men, but leave relationships first before they can leave you.

Can you draw a parallel between these patterns and my relationship with money?  Essentially not feeling worthy in my own essential self (money slipping through my hands and creating “rescue” scenarios), taking on others desires and passions as my own (struggling to bring money in through others businesses/visions that were not in alignment with my whole hearted creative expression ), and setting up the abandonment before I can be abandoned (I am not worthy).

I think you get the picture here.  We are in a very powerful time on our planet right now where each one of us has the opportunity to repattern into “wholeness, purpose and grace” in a way that honors our own highest potential as well as that of every other life form on this planet.  If we don’t do this our species has the potential to disappear!

connection20This time is about creatively connecting and collaborating within the deep interconnection that sustains all of us – every single life form on this planet.  It is called Unity – the yoga of life.  In order to open to this way of being each one of us must take the inner journey of clearing anything in the way of truly being ourselves in the world.

Since money is a large part of our life, and always will be present in some way, why not create a trusting, flowing, sufficient, honest and loving relationship with it.  It really does want to love you back and is the currency of connection!!

SOME SUGGESTED BOOKS:

The Currency of Connection: How to Create An Exquisitely Kick Ass Relationship With Money by Nogie King

soul-of-money-paperbackThe Trance of Scarcity: Hey! Stop Holding Your Breath and Start Living Your Life! by Victoria Castle

The Soul of Money: Reclaiming The Wealth of Our Inner Resources by Lynn Twist

The Prosperous Heart, by Julia Cameron

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Living From Oneness

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The essential issue we face in life is being connected – not being in control”  Margaret Wheatley

Isn’t it when we develop the capacity to meet whatever life serves up, to truly connect with the moment to moment experience of it, that we fall into allowing life to expand and enrich us?  Each of us knows what that feels like as women.  Whether it be giving birth to a child, preparing and serving food with love, standing on the front lines of something we strongly believe in and taking action, or even the simple act of breathing in the beauty of nature.

Our present global awakening is the first time in the history of humans that we are aware we can cause our own extinction.  Along with that come the opportunities to be part of the shift to change into sustainable systems that have interconnection and global well being at the forefront.

It is women who will contribute greatly to this global evolution bringing the feminine principles back into activation.  We shall also be partnered with the millions of men globally who will remember that it is not control and power that will sustain us, but instead collaboration, co-creation and cooperation.

317986_290213681073867_886206564_nAliveness is the sense of really being present; sensory awareness, emotional awareness, conscious awareness.  The more aliveness we can handle, the more available we are to the flow of life within us.” Victoria Castle from The Trance of Scarcity

It is when we remember and live from our oneness that we can enter into co-creation from a Source level.  What does that feel like and look like?  Here are some A,B,C’s…

*Absolute awareness and acceptance of our purpose in life

*Belonging – Remembering that we are born with an inseparable experience of innately belonging

*Collaboration and co-creation with others.  This is about connection – not having to do it alone! Courage!

*Daring – To be yourself outrageously and wildly.  There is no box!  This is all a creation from the river that flows within you connected with points in the evolutionary unified field.

Find yourself in all of this and don’t be afraid.  This evolution needs you as a embodied whole woman who does not ever need to stand alone.  Beautiful one you are always helped and supported by the unseen but tenderly felt sources of deep interconnection.  Remember….

Love After Love
The time will come 
when, with elation 
you will greet yourself arriving 
at your own door, in your own mirror 
and each will smile at the other’s welcome, 

and say, sit here. Eat. 
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
 Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart 
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you 

all your life, whom you ignored 
for another, who knows you by heart. 
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, 

the photographs, the desperate notes, 
peel your own image from the mirror. 
Sit. Feast on your life.

Derek Walcott

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941546_10201139084457154_1085573193_nOTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:

www.BreathingSpaces.net
www.NaturalWealthJournal.com

Give Us This Day Our Daily Breath Preview, Reviews and purchase links can be found here:Breath-Book-coverW2(3)
http://resonancewithlife.com/daily-breath-book/

You Are More Beautiful Than You Think

How does the title of this blog post make you feel?  What are the feelings that arise when you consider your own beauty?

As women we are so often self critical about many things in our appearance.  If it isn’t the media or our culture that is demanding we look a certain way in order to be loved, get the job, get the man, or even get the attention….it is our own inability to accept the features and bodies that we have been given.

Beauty is considered in so many different ways by people all over the world.  But isn’t real beauty that which shines through the features? The features that are a pathway to all of the experiences that have made up this one precious life!  The soul of who we are!380354_10150709043892185_280837062184_8265230_1562739305_n

It is the deepest parts of our being that shine forth if we but allow the open and whole expression of who we really are.  Accepting the natural beauty that resides within and reflects on the outside – even the wrinkles, lines and flaws – encourages us as women to express fully without holding back anything!

Can we really be open to how others see us and realize that we are much more beautiful than we think?  Watch this short video and reflect.  Perhaps it will lead you to come out of hiding…

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OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:WFW logo

www.BreathingSpaces.net
www.NaturalWealthJournal.com

JOINT WEBSITE:

www.ResonanceWithLife.com

Breath-Book-coverW2(3)Give Us This Day Our Daily Breath Preview, Reviews and purchase links can be found here:
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A Lesson On Aging

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This beautiful woman named Rose has a lesson to teach all of us who find that we are slightly, or greatly, discouraged by the aging process.  Although Rose is no longer with us her story is below and I think will give you some inspiration as to the preciousness of each moment of this incredible life we have been given.

As I come to the turning of 65 this coming July I keep thinking (and feeling!) that I am so much younger.  What it seems to be to me is the timelessness of our indomitable spirit which is ageless and craves living full tilt, though the body at times fails to cooperate much to our dismay!  There is always another opportunity to live our passions!!  For Rose it was going to college and getting her degree…for me it is returning to doing energy bodywork, teaching, and starting a new book just for women!

These days I find all around me examples of “older women” stepping right into their passions and staunchly refusing to crumple 394078_422487367817367_1125191106_nunder the youth crazed culture.  They are real, aware, wise, healthy, courageous, creative, beautiful….and very, very sexy!  I will include myself in there,  as well as many women that I know!

As Rose so wisely said, “REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.”  What will you fill the “optional” with??  …in this one wild and precious life?!  Oh, so many things to choose from! Yummm!!

Roses Story:

An 87 Year Old College Student Named Rose
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know.
I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned round to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?”
I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze.
“Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked.
She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…”
“No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.
“I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months, we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine”
as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

534833_395426110514228_703915838_nAt the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was
introduced and stepped up to the podium.  As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell
you what I know.”

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop
playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day.  You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.  We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.  If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old.  If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.  Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change.  Have no regrets.  The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those
with regrets.”

She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose.”  She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out inbernice-bates-91-year-old-yogi our daily lives.  At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died  peacefully in her sleep.  Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s  never too late to be all you can possibly be .When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they’ll really enjoy it!”

TIP:  Watch the wonderful film: My Afternoons With Margueritte (Available on Netflix)

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WEBSITE:  www.ResonanceWithLife.com

OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:

www.BreathingSpaces.net
www.NaturalWealthJournal.com

Breath-Book-coverW2(3)Give Us This Day Our Daily Breath Preview, Reviews and purchase links can be found here:
http://resonancewithlife.com/daily-breath-book/

The Love Ethic – Politics As A Spiritual Journey

“What we don’t engage we cannot transform.”  Marianne Williamson

Less than a week ago we had a national election in the United States.  As I saw it, as women and on behalf of the environment, we  potentially had a lot to lose.  This is why I was so stunned by some women I talked to that had decided not to even vote because it appeared they lacked the passion and motivation to really get involved in making an informed choice.

Some said that their vote wouldn’t count anyway because of our antiquated electoral college system, or even that they lived on the West Coast and it would already be decided before they could even vote.  There wasn’t even a thought about their own community issues and elected officials.  Has “politics” disillusioned us so much that we have become apathetic?

I have to admit that I have been one of those disillusioned ones and have left the arena of politics for others with a stronger stomach.  At the same time I  realize that this is avoidance which results in a lack of change or transformation to the very systems and beliefs that are making us unhappy and imbalanced.  As individuals, as communities, as countries, as a global society.

Many individuals feel that if you are following a spiritual path then politics is something to be avoided.  If Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and many others throughout our time here on Earth had thought that quite a lot of transformation and change would have been completely left undone.  The quote above by Marianne Williamson invites us to ENGAGE with what she calls the “love ethic” in all that we do on behalf of what is important to us.

If we really want a change to happen in our political systems,  a shift in how we steward this planet that shares it’s riches with us, a change to a peace ethic instead of war, or whatever else is vitally important to you, then we really DO need to become engaged and make it a part of our spiritual journey.

In other words “take a stand for another possibility”.  If we do not engage, transformation is truly not possible.  Women in particular have a lot of power to create change in this realm – change that is desperately needed.   This beautiful older woman in the picture above has taken a stand. Her bare feet upon the bark of a tree engaging with her own and nature’s life force on behalf of another possibility.   What is it that you want to take a stand for?  You are never too old…..your actions in whatever unique form DO make a difference!

 

WEBSITEwww.ResonanceWithLife.com

OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:

www.BreathingSpaces.net
www.NaturalWealthJournal.com

Give Us This Day Our Daily Breath Preview, Reviews and purchase links can be found here:
http://resonancewithlife.com/daily-breath-book/

Friendship Is Seizing The Moment Together!

This picture has now been placed up there on my list of favorites right along with the monks on the roller coaster!  Just having arrived back from a multifaceted trip to the San Francisco Bay area to see two of my 3 sons and celebrate the aliveness and beauty of my two grandchildren I am taken once again with the possibilities that are nested in each moment.

There are many moments that stand out for me on this trip and one of them reflects the C.S. Lewis quote above, as well as the nuns in total abandon saying YES to what they most certainly individually thought of, but may have been afraid to take action on alone.  Have you ever had a moment when you have a thought to do something “out of the box’, look at someone and just know that they are thinking the same thing? What could have been a pretty BIG leap for you alone just turned into an adventure shared by another.

The fact is that you also get double the pleasure, fun, and joy in seizing the moment together…… creating a bond that may be momentary….or may last a lifetime.

Before immersing myself in family during this trip, the ocean called me loud and strong!  Thus the day after I arrived was a day for breathing in salt air, walking at the waters edge, laying in the warm sand, simply being present to the sounds of the waves, and delighting in the spectacular day.  I can still feel the smile on my face as I walked down the so familiar beach at Salmon Creek feeling the exhilarating cold water on my legs. Visual memories flooded in.  There were so many times a Sunday group of women I had gathered together, called Babes In Wetsuits, would ride the top of waves screaming with joy while careening into shore.

Now you must understand that I was born and raised in San Diego and the beach to me was home.  The salt water my bathtub.  Keeping this in mind you will understand this little tale I will now tell you.  While reluctantly walking back along the shore to my car parked high up on the cliff side parking lot I lingered just a little longer in the surf as my feet sunk into the wet sand. Just before me was a woman that caught my attention because of the huge smile she had on her face.  This grown woman…it turns out Teresa from Salt Lake City, Utah…was gazing at the water running over her feet and the waves coming into shore with complete and utter joy.

I knew this feeling and was drawn to talk to her for a bit.  Starting the conversation with, “isn’t this all so beautiful?”, I learned very quickly that she was entranced by this watery and sunlit world.  Teresa spoke easily of her love for the ocean and the mountains and wished that she could have both, upon which I said that there are indeed places in the world where there are both in the same location.

Our love for this moment bonded us – complete strangers – into a connection that was wrought of falling totally into the moment together.  I told her of my Babes in Wetsuits group and she laughed.  In fact I said, ‘if I had my bathing suit on I would most likely go right into this water and dive in even though I would freeze my butt off!”  She looked over at me with a brilliant smile on her face and said – “I probably would too!”

We mutually agreed that life is way too short to hold back from stepping through the open door when opportunities are presented.  Although our legs were wet what both of us really wanted to do was dive right in.   In a way we did by communicating that with each other.  With a touch on a shoulder we went our separate ways enriched by the connection made in the salt water of the Pacific ocean.

If Teresa from Salt Lake City, Utah ever reads this post – please know that there is a playmate ready to dive right in.  You are not alone!

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WEBSITE www.ResonanceWithLife.com

OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:

www.BreathingSpaces.net
www.NaturalWealthJournal.com

Give Us This Day Our Daily Breath Preview, Reviews and purchase links can be found here:
http://resonancewithlife.com/daily-breath-book/

Feminine Force Transforming Fear Into Love

Several years ago I was privileged to study with many curandera’s high in the hills above Mexico City.  Hardly knowing any Spanish at all I found at the end of 12 days spent there that I was dreaming in the language! This is a testament to the deep healing and opening that occurred as I sat, communed, ate, observed and learned from these very wise people.

I love the face of Grandmother Margarita here as it reminds me of the wisdom, love and passion that women grow into as they age.  Sometimes I don’t quite know how to take steps in this elder life of mine as it seems so different from what came before, but the words below remind me of what is so vitally important for women to remember.  Thank you to Awakening Women Institute for sharing this on Facebook!

Wise words from Grandmother Margarita Núñez García, Curandera and Wisdom Keeper, Mexico (Ingles y Español):

1. The awakening Feminine power corresponds to the heart and affects men and women equally. We are born with two possibilities, love and fear, and this feminine force is urging the transformation of fear into love.

2. Change will occur at the hands of women. For thousands of years (during pre-patriarchal times) woman was considered equal to man, and Earth was never poisoned, then both circumstances changed. The role of women is to honor and value herself and to teach men to love and respect the Earth.

3. Sex is sacred and it is being trivialized.

4. Older people are “like spun gold” for society — at that age it is an ideal time to share experiences and wisdom. According to the Mayan cycles of 13 years, when people turn 52 years of age [note: meaning 4 cycles of 13 years], they “open to universal fatherhood-motherhood,” so any feelings we have of victim-hood should stop and we should say “here I am.”

5. Death does not exist, our consciousness, our spirit, survives the physical body.

6. We are all sacred beings and we should honor ourselves.

7. Our thoughts have the power to create our reality.

8. Joy is an important ingredient in life. Shared with deep respect and prayers for the well being of Grandmothers and Wisdom Keepers of all traditions.

Translated from the Spanish, by Grace Alvarez Sesma.

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WEBSITE:  www.ResonanceWithLife.com

OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:

www.NaturalWealthJournal.com
www.WildlyFreeWoman.com

Give Us This Day Our Daily Breath Preview and Reviews can be found here:
http://resonancewithlife.com/daily-breath-book/

We Are The Sum Of The Choices We Make

Never give up, never give up, never give up sings Gypsy Soul singer Cilette Swann.  We are truly the sum of the choices we make in life.  The song you will listen to below invites us to wake up from our slumber and ask these questions:

Do I give enough?

Do I love enough?

Do I trust enough?

Do I risk enough?

Did I ever give up on anyone?

Questions to not only ask ourselves frequently, but vibrantly, passionately,  and mindfully live in order to be able to say YES! to all but the last question!!

Addendum: “Did I allow myself to receive enough” for all of you women out there that have given until you had nothing left to live your life with….

WEBSITE www.ResonanceWithLife.com

OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:

www.BreathingSpaces.net

www.NaturalWealthJournal.com

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We Have Come To Be Danced!

Last Friday night my body was a mass of whirling limbs, undulating pelvis, and open hearted movement.  Where was I?  At one of my favorite movement pastimes.  You see I, like you, have several favorite movement practices….among them swimming, yoga, making love, and ecstatic dance/contact improv.  The latter is what I was involved in a few days ago.

What is so outrageously refreshing about ecstatic dance is just what the poem below by Jewel Mathieson (thank you to Kimberly Beroset!) suggests quite powerfully.  There are no boundaries or constraints to adhere to.  The dance movement comes from deep within and in the moment.  By yourself in a room full of dancing, whirling, cavorting people….or in direct energetic contact with one or more others.  It is like finding out who you are within each breath of limb, organ, skin, and fluids.  It is taking the time to explore what is desiring and demanding to emerge next…while taking the risk of fully inhabiting that movement, sound, dance, emotion, relationship with self and/or other.

I have written here before that women too often apologize for everything, even their very existence.  My remedy for this has been to suggest that every time a woman wants to say ” I’m sorry” (though there are truly times when that is appropriate) she should instead say “I’m so sexy!” – or at least think it…and stop the apologies in their tracks, never to emerge unconsciously again!

The poem below embodies all of what I am speaking to here and as I slip a piece of luscious dark chocolate into my mouth I say to you……We HAVE come to be danced!  Let us not forget that for even one single moment!  See you on the dance floor of life!!

OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT:

www.BreathingSpaces.net
www.NaturalWealthJournal.com

Give Us This Day Our Daily Breath Preview and Reviews can be found here:
http://resonancewithlife.com/daily-breath-book/

Yoga Woman – Creating A Scared “Time In”

Did you know that in the early history of yoga, and up until recently,  it was meant as a practice only for men?  That is hard to believe as the majority of students and teachers globally these days are women.  What first attracted me to the practice so many years ago now was the freedom to explore my body, mind, emotions and breath in a “time out”  – or better “time in” –  without the pressures of everyday life intruding.  Something women historically have had precious little time for.

Just today a video movie trailer came across my inbox (thank you Lynn Walker!) called YogaWoman.  I post it here because it makes a statement about what women can create when they become passionate about something.  Women have changed the entire make up of this ancient practice creating an embodied and grounded pathway to moments of nourishment, strengthening, nurturing, flow, expanded awareness, increased fluidity and flexibility, a modality for health and well being for all ages, genders, and races –  and for simply being with the breath in each moment.

As a student and teacher for many years now I still feel a thrill every time I step on the yoga mat and know that this time, this practice, is just for me!  Deep gratitude goes to the many men that have helped bring yoga to the Western shores….and a standing ovation goes to the women that have consistently expanded and grounded the practice in a way only a woman can.

If we can support each other in stepping into our individual expressions, such as has been done with the practice of yoga,  instead of competing with each other (or ourselves!), then we have not only come closer to embodying the authentic and honest expression of who we are, but have joined other women in a collaboration of empowerment and joyous creation.

OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT: 

www.BreathingSpaces.net
www.NaturalWealthJournal.com

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