The Rescue Syndrome
OK, I know many of us got sucked into the fairy tales that we were told as young girls and boys. Some of them had good things to teach us….and others lead to belief systems into adulthood that caught us in patterns which were not necessarily the healthiest for our whole being. Many of these tales had the feminine as helpless and/or in a precarious situation so that masculine needed to save her (read rescue here)….and invariably he became captivated by her beauty (perhaps the beginning of a need for make up and designer clothing?)
A few weeks back I was at a gathering of artists (writers, painters, singers, photographers…..) and we were asked to think of a pattern that we would like to let go of and then capture the image/words on paper with pen/colored marker/crayon/paint so that we could share it with the others. This was just the beginning of the ritual.
Immediately I saw a scene similar to the one above (you will of course remember “Rupunzel, Rupunzel let down your hair”) however, instead of the masculine presence climbing up my hair to rescue me from the tower that had no way out I saw him riding the white horse across the plains as I screamed “Help! Help! (kind of like Scarlet O’Hara with Rhett Butler or the damsel in distress tied to the railroad tracks).
Well, my first thought was “I can’t draw!”, but decided right then and there that I would not ask for a way out of this exercise, but instead picked up colored felt tipped pens and started in on my masterpiece. Now if you put a group of drawings by a kindergarten class up on the wall let’s just say mine would fit right in. BUT, I actually had fun doing it and laughed all the way through my creation. (you should have seen the horse!!)
Believe it or not the other members of the group did get what I had drawn when I shared and before the end of the evening was over with we had all gone outside, stood around a fire and tossed our out lived and no longer needed patterns into the flames.
It was very curious to me that this is the pattern that showed up as I pride myself on being such an “independent women”, but when I really got down to it I realized that this pattern has lasted a very long time. It actually has many levels to it including taking the role of the rescuer as well. (switch the picture above in your mind and place a beautiful woman with her heart in her hand (no sword baby!) taking off to rescue everyone she can possibly “save”, but leaving her own needs somewhere behind on the road she is traveling.)
To keep this simple though let’s talk about the one being rescued.
As I see it there is a “light” and “dark” side to the “rescue syndrome”. The light is when we graciously accept help when needed and then use it as a springboard for making distinctions and opening to possibility. Granted there are times in life when we need someone to be there for us and it is an act of self love to allow that person/s to help us. Just like being able to give and receive love with equal ease.
Now for the dark side of this pattern. For me I saw it manifest a great deal in the financial realm oftentimes cleverly disguised in credit card use, asking for (or accepting from self identified “rescuer’s”) personal loans, and oh yes taking jobs that did not honor who I was in my fullest expression or promoting other people’s businesses/visions – all at the expense of trusting my own.
In younger years the rescue came in the need to be loved, desired, accepted and to belong and often came in the form of relationship. In more mature years that is still present under the surface, but it goes much deeper – honoring the potential of my own being in fullest expression, creativity and soul purpose. Trusting that I have all that it takes to be successful in whatever endeavor I take on whether it be a business, artistic expression, relationship or spiritual quest.
This means a weaving of the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine – versus the Doubtful and Disempowered Feminine with the Static Masculine. This tapestry happens inside of us and then is reflected in the outside circumstances and relationships of our lives.
No longer able to walk away from ourselves we instead turn back to face ourselves and take a really close look at the magnificent being that we are.
It may take time to integrate all of the parts, and there may be times when we are about to fall into the “rescue syndrome” once again….but I am willing to bet that once you have seen who you are and the potential that you have there will be no turning back!
Gaye Abbott, RYT assists individuals to drop the layers that cover the natural innate blueprint we came in with and reveal, through a combination of evolutionary energy work, Jin Shin Jyutus, Reiki, mentoring, yoga therapy and breath re-patterning, the larger purpose and co-creative expression that we are here for.
For those interested in receiving private sessions please contact Gaye at: JoyfulGaye@NaturalPassages.com. Travel to your location in the U.S. or globally is available. Please inquire. Skype: gaye.abbott
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